<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Too Far To Reach by skyejamie14</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24290272">Too Far To Reach</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyejamie14/pseuds/skyejamie14'>skyejamie14</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Florabella - Fandom, Florence + the Machine, Ship to Wreck - Florence + the Machine (Song)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Love, Pain, Personal Growth, Recovery, collective healing, we will all be okay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:56:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,044</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24290272</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyejamie14/pseuds/skyejamie14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Florence and Isa have drifted the through creative processes they've spent the last few years immersed in without each other. The realization that there is little happiness without being together brings the girls to New York. There seems to be some hope.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Isabella Summers/Florence Welch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It's been a long minute since I've last written anything substantial, so hello. As much as I'm going to keep this hopeful (my plan has "THIS MUST NOT BE DEPRESSING" scribbled along the top) there will conversations about eating disorder recovery and alcohol, please keep this in mind I don't want to damage anyone &lt;3<br/>This is pure fiction and I've poured some of my own experiences into this, obviously, I can not speak for Florence nor Isa. Set in 2020 (without a pandemic).<br/>We need something hopeful in these times so here it is, my best shot at "We're all going to be okay"<br/>Sending everyone love</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Florence is woken by the sun as she is most mornings now. She released a long sigh before moving from the fetal position she has taken to sleeping in. There's a lot to sigh about, but at least it seems like a nice spring day. Through all the big feelings that are happening in Florence's head right now, she manages to take a moment to appreciate how all of the boxes are unpacked; unlike the end of her last tour where coming home didn't really feel like coming home. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before long, there is radio static from the corner of the kitchen, and the kettle is boiling. For the first time, this year silk pyjamas have been swapped from much lighter shorts. Florence takes her coffee and sits on the floor absorbing the heat coming from the glass doors in front of her. No matter how much mediation she has attempted in the last few months, she can't stop her thoughts drifting back to Isa. They had left the last tour with only a quick hug as Isa jumped off the bus and haven't spoken at all since. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With all the maturity she can muster, she tells herself that there is no life in clinging to another body. She drifts through days and coffee dates, fashion events and endless notebooks of scribbles. The only sacred thing she has been able to keep hold of in life. Isa used to joke that there could be an explosion, and Florence would still have her notebook. The thought is now a sharp scratch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grace is due to visit today, and of course, she knows that her older sister is not her happiest. Even when Grace sees how tired and irritable Flo gets on tour, she knows that there is happiness in her life. Whether that is partly because of Isa and the endless list of excuses that being on tour gives the girls to share a bed or the fans Florence's gets to connect with every night, Grace cannot work out. But she wishes that her sister could be happy and content without the stress of touring. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first thing that can be heard in the softly lit kitchen is the little feet running full pelt down the hallway, and then the screaming as Bonnie launches herself into her aunties lap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What are you doing on the floor?" Grace questions, amused by her ever confusing </span>
  <em>
    <span>older </span>
  </em>
  <span>sister. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I was just taking in the sun. Getting a tan, you know." Florence laughs, looking at her pale skin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie is snickering to herself. "Aunite Flo is still in pyjamas." Florence's face lights up as she tickles a squirming Bonnie in her lap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Auntie Flo likes to have slow, quiet mornings with coffee." She informs her young niece, who is dressed in olive coloured cotton dungarees. The organic fibres make Florence feel like she should be out in the garden, not that Bonnie's white top would agree with the grass. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bonnie soon runs off to pull out her draw of toys and teddies to play with while Grace and Florence catch up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ever since Grace can remember, her sister has been bubbling with ideas, each one as enthusiastic as the next. For the past few months, there seems to have been nothing simmering away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So then Flo, what's the next big thing? A role in a West End musical?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, if only," Flo responds with her almost awkward giggle. "I haven't really thought about it. Life just seems to be ticking over. I'm not sure if that's what being thirty is. Just this and nothing more." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not some big Misrabella project then?" Grace probes wondering what has happened to Isa. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, we haven't really talked much that much since the end of the last tour. I think she's working." Florence seems not to care, but Grace knows that there have only been months without Isa once before, and it didn't end well. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>While Isa knows that Florence is only a phone call away, it feels strange. Maybe if one of them had reached out sooner after they'd returned to London it would be different. Isa ignores the way her heartaches and buries herself in work. The problem is not her deep feelings for her best friend, although these don't help anything, it is mainly over the way she feels like she's losing her. Between the How Big How Blue tour and High as Hope, the girls had drifted more than ever, and it hurt. Even the band were concerned about how they would function on tour. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There wasn't a problem in the end. They hadn't even made it a week in before Florence was knocking on Isa's hotel room door, ready to crawl into her arms as the unsettling routine of touring set in. Neither of the girls dared to bring up the distance that had appeared between then through the last year. Things seemed to be nearly normal. Why would the mess it up?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without the forced factor of living on the same tour bus, nothing seems to have tied the two friends together. Apart from their unconscious drifting thoughts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa is half-heartedly working on an album that she will probably never release. She drinks on Fridays only with friends, laughs at their annoyance with Paul from the office or their husband's weird bathroom habits. Being in your thirties seemed so dull, especially considering the fun Isa had had throughout her twenties. Was there not something more than the ever-growing responsibility of the fuck ups have already happened?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa is already done with being in the studio for the day, and it's only 10am. Not a good sign. Max is supposed to be arriving soon. Isa's doing him a favour by claiming she needs his production skills so he can get out of his house that holds two children. Max knows that his presence in the studio helps Isa to ignore the lack of Florence, who would normally be bossing her around the keys. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Morning bitch." He shouts, dropping his car keys and a lighter on the table. "Why do you look so depressed?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're such a considerate human being." Isa laughs. "I think I'm done for the day. I can't be bothered." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Max hums a nod and then pulls a packet of cigarettes from his pocket, raising his eyebrow. The two of them try to hold in childish giggles as they walk out into the car park. It's a pretty warm day even by Londons standards, so there's no need to find shelter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You need to address the problem, Isa. If it's not been fixed by you working 24/7, then you need to try another method." Isa looks up to him fag still in her hand. Isa has known Max for longer than she's known Florence. They both grew up in Alsbough and moved to London with high hopes. He's a good six foot tall and still has muscles from the lugging around of stage equipment. While Max has now settled into family life, he knows that his little friend still has no idea what she is going to do next. Touring all the time seems to leave you with no base to come home to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa ashes her cigarette before bothering to continue, "I don't know what to do with myself when we're not on tour. Between the last two, I was here to look after my Grandma, and then I worked on other people's production before I got sent the tour dates. Now I don't even know where Florence is, and this album is becoming less interesting by the minute." She pauses to sigh. "Look, I'm even fucking smoking! It's that boring." They both laugh even through the pain Max can hear in Isa's words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I know I'm not the person you need right now Isa, but I'm here." Max looks straight into her eyes. He can't fix this, and he knows it, but Isa needs someone just to let her be emotional. The words almost make Isa curl up and cry like a little girl. "You've been away so much you don't know who you are when you're alone in quiet. That's not your fault. You are allowed to feel all those things. There's no age limit to emotions." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're gonna be a fucking brilliant father when you're girls are teens, Max." Isa laughs, trying to hide how true the words she'd just heard were. "Maybe I'll go home for today and do something that doesn't make me feel so empty." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both agree to have a week off from any work. Isa is to go and finish all the housework and decoration she hasn't had the energy to do, and Max is to go and take his role at being a single parent while Clara goes out with her girlfriends. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Isa, just call her. She's probably in the same mess that you are. You're in this together, so stop pretending like you're apart." Isa knows who Max is talking about, but there is no way she is calling her. Not when she can't be an emotionally stable friend. She's the machine in this. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A week later, and neither of the girls is any further along with knowing what they are going to do next. Until an unexpected call from Dion lands them with no excuse to avoid each other. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A group facetime request comes through on a very cloudy Wednesday afternoon. It takes Florence a minute to figure out who was where and in which frame of her phone. She sees Dion with a glass of wine in the top right corner already talking to Hazel, she then sees Isa's face appear in the left-hand corner of her screen. She looks happy, but still like she hasn't slept in weeks. An oddly familiar feeling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So I don't know about everyone else, but it feels weird to go from living on top of each other to being at home in a quiet house." Dion gives an awkward laugh and shrugs. "Maybe I'm just lonely."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, no-no. It's always the same. Life doesn't feel real in a quiet house. It will pass in a few months at the most." Florence tries to offer support. As much as she cares, all her attention is fixed on Isa. She could even say she misses the black eyeliner that gets everywhere in everyday life. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone chats along happily before Hazel has to walk a parcel over to her next-door neighbour. Dion leaves her phone on the table while she goes to find strings for the guitar she's trying to restring. Florence and Isa are left alone, on facetime. Florence's least favourite form of communication. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, how is the album?" Flo asks, trying to break the silence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Meh, I haven't really got anywhere. It feels weird for some reason. I don't think my hearts in it. The days are just repeating themselves over and over." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, I'm feeling the same. There's nothing different anymore. Don't pressure yourself with the album though. It'll be fine." Florence is nearly in tears at how unnatural the conversation has become between them. What happened to the jokes that would leave them on the floor? Or when no conversation ever started with a hello but instead some great proclamation? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fine. We should, like, get coffee or something." Isa dares to suggest with a small smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Good idea. Friday? The place up near the sholoft?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa nods in agreement while Dion tells them both she's going to have to put all her concentration into finding new strings. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The call ends. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Florence starts to think about her impending meet with Isa. She'll be the only person, apart from Grace, she's seen in the last two weeks, and she might just fall apart if Isa decides to give her a hug. Flo spends the rest of the evening going through old photos and putting them on the walls, only to add to the heartache.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Isa practically has to drag herself out of bed when she realises that Friday has come a lot quicker than she would have wished. Although she's been wishing that she could be near Florence nearly every day for the past three months, actually getting to meet up with her seems like a family reunion you get pushed into attending. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Florence pushes aside all thoughts of how awkward this could be and moves on to find toast before she leaves the house. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By eleven am both girls are leaving to walk the two miles from their houses to the same road that Isa's studio is located on. There's a small and still very retro coffee shop on the corner. It's been around ever since both girls can remember, and it's seen them through a whole load of hangovers. The word retro doesn't mean that it's trying to be trendy, in this case, it means the place hasn't been redecorated since, whenever it was set up. Probably back in the seventies. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Florence finds a shawl and starts to walk. Walking has been the only thing that has let Florence simply think since she can remember. Recently the last thing would consider doing is going on a walk. Escaping thoughts has become a skill.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The younger and normally messier of the girls is the first to arrive as usual. Anyone who only partly knew her would expect lateness, but this never happens. Flo knows that leaving the house at eleven, means leaving the house at eleven. She settles at their usual empty table in the corner of the crowded cafe. Back when Florence's body was too fucked up to keep it's self warm it was vital for the pair to sit next to the heater. Isa strolls in only ten minutes later and quickens her pace when she sees her friend sat alone. The girls hold a quick hug before Isa goes to collect their usual orders. The short blonde can consume more caffeine than would ever be thought humanely possible. Functioning without it would be like leaving the house without clothes, you just wouldn't. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Morning Bella." Flo laughs as Isa cradles her cup like a mother to a child. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Good morning. Remind me that trying to have a caffeine-free month is a dumb idea next time I try it." Florence bursts out laughing, throwing her head forward. She has always laughed with the whole of her body, and it makes Isa's heart full to see such a genuine action on an often depressed friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I had no idea you had ever attempted that. I don't think I've ever bought a caffeine-free jar of coffee." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa looks Florence straight in the eye. "Don't do it to yourself." This sends the girls into another fit of giggles. There's no awkwardness if you can laugh through it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa asks endless questions about Bonnie, making Florence feel slightly guilty that she hasn't been able to see the child that had once been like a niece to her. Isa hasn't changed since both of them used to spend long days in the studio together. The same girl that used to sit there for hours happily occupied with dials and drum beats still does the same now, the only difference being that she gets paid more. Covered in glitter, eyeliner and always hungover, there were times when they would both question if all this was worth it anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Isa, my head is about to explode. Can you put headphones on?" Florence moans, still wrapped up in green bed sheets. They'd had a, particularly heavy, drinking session the night before to celebrate how Florence had dropped out of college that afternoon. Isa seems to remember some form of pills that got passed around. Although, Isa had resigned against anything stronger than weed a few years back. Florence had not yet reached that decision and was now dealing with a comedown and a hangover. It was not going to be a fun morning for either of them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no chance of pulling a hit song out of Florence, so Isa can only do her best to provide painkillers every two hours and keep her work as quite as possible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa gave up working as she'd watched Florence bite her cheek constantly for the past hour. "Flo, stop you're going to bit a hole in your cheek." Flo looks up, eyes wide as if she's just been caught robbing a shop. "Just relax, what are you so tense about?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as she saw something wrong, with her then brown-haired friend, she climbed back into bed, ready to listen to the next ramble about boys. "Yesterday, waving goodbye to the demanding structure of school seemed like a great idea. Today, well, Mum is going to kill me, I'm not sure that art will make me a living and I'm 21 and still living at home." Even in her most hungover mornings, Florence was always able to speak fluently. It went to show that she had always been clever, even if she couldn't express it the way she wanted. All Isa could do was hold her while they listened to Madonna. All of what Florence had said was true. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That day something changed. They both knew that this was all they had left. Flo could fall back on cafe jobs, and Isa could produce for anyone who needed it. It was not the idle lifestyle either of them wanted. Florence needed to be able to sustain a lifestyle that let her drift around, making art and singing for whoever wanted to listen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa needed to be able to pour her heart into something of her own creation, not just making someone else work better with little credit. As scary as it was, the knowledge of this only made the two of them more determined as the weeks passed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Through all the uncertainty of playing crowed pubs to waking up in strangers living rooms, they always managed to find each other and work their way back home. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I missed you." Florence brings Isa back to the present cafe that had seemed to quieten down since the lunchtime rush had ended. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I missed you too. It was horrible being in a studio without you to deathen me with singing or shouting through a mic at me."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not the bossy!" Florence exclaims with mock offence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two girls walk back to the Sholoft, where they spent all their Friday lunchtimes for a solid two years. Isa laughs at the inappropriate dress Flo has chosen to wear as she demands that a landscaper comes in to flatten the steep hill. Once they've managed to kick in the door that had swollen in the heat, both of them scramble to find food that has been left here from the last time Isa needed an escape. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"How long do you think these rice cakes have been here?" Florence shouts to Isa as she shifts the pile of books out of the middle of the doorway. She finds Isa rewiring the DVD player in the only other room of the apartment. Both of them decide they'll go fine with the, luckily unopened, packet of ginger nuts. Isa finds the movie Sister Trap and motions for Flo to sit down next to her on the sofa/bed that occupies the back wall of the room. It's been a long time since either of them spent a night here, and it shows. The room that Isa has always used to shove studio equipment that shes 'borrowing' in is much bigger than where the girls have settled. There are wires everywhere and only one storage unit that food stays hidden in. Looking back on it, it's a surprise that they survived the drug-fueled nights they put their bodies through, it's another surprise that they made it through days here without being electrocuted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The room where they used to crash is covered in old quilts thrown everywhere. There's a pile of old tee shirts and spare jumpers in the corner, along with books upon books. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I've always been safe here." Florence only manages to whisper before her phone rings. She takes the call before looking up at Isa. An apology already playing on her face. "Grace says she needs me to go and pick Bonnie up from nursery. She's ill, and they're sending her home." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa can't hide the disappointment on her face, but as she pulls Flo into a hug. "Go, she needs you. Send her all my love. We can talk soon." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Florence runs off out the door and only stops when people in the street start to stare. Isa goes to hide under blankets morning the loss of a warm body next to her. How soon does Florence think talk soon means? </span>
</p>
<p>                                                            </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Isa and Florence end up in New York and they seem to be ready to talk<br/>CW: Brief mention of eating disorders and alcohol misuse</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've been sat trying to make this chapter more emotional all night and this is the best I've come up with. Enjoy aha!<br/>Also, I am completely incompetent with commas (apart from when my computer suggests it) so I've opted for the no comma option. Sorry about that :/</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's not long before Isa finds out just how long is meant by talk soon. Two weeks. By day six of no contact Isa has cleaned out and rearranged all of her second studio. By day ten she has mastered four new dishes ready to cook the for next time the inlaws visit. Max had told her that she only needs to call when she wants to go back into the studio. Bored as she may be getting she's definitely not ready to go back to work. The last few months have consisted of numbing her feelings. She's too tired of it now so she ops to sit at home and make herself listen to the way she's feeling. No alcohol, no drugs, no work. After just one day with Florence two weeks ago she finds herself falling harder than ever before. </p><p>Florence spends the next week hiding out with Bonnie. Her temperature was the first sign of chickenpox and so Grace had trusted Flo to look after her at her place so she could work. Although Grace called every day to check they were both still alive, images of Florence passed out on bathroom floors left unease about leaving the three-year-old, they both looked like they've been having the time of their lives. Bonnie even seemed to have forgotten about the scabbing red marks on her skin. Although Florence knew the whole time that she needed to call Isa it was all too much to deal with while she had a toddler to look after. By the end of the week, Bonnie's spots faded and she was itching to go back to the nursery and see her friends. Flo reluctantly handed her back to Grace and spent the next week writing endless sermons that she doesn't know what she will do with. A distraction it is. <br/>
After three months of being left completely alone by management, she could have guessed that there was going to something come through soon. At the end of the week, a call from the press team arrived. <br/>
"Hey Florence," Everyone in management called her by her full name and it was professional enough to make Flo uncomfortable. She responds with a quick hi. "There's been a magazine interview come up. They want to talk to you about what it's like to be settled at home sober." Libby seems to be waiting nervously for a reply. Florence isn't particularly shy with her personal life but it seems as if it will be a loaded interview. <br/>
"Yeah sure. I don't mind I suppose it might even be nice to get to talk about music again." Florence nervously laughs. "When and where?"<br/>
"Well, they were saying it would be great if you could go to New York to film it. Something about tech etc. If you don't want to travel then we can sort something." <br/>
New York, an emotional city. Definitely not Florence's favorite place to travel alone but after spending the last ten years of her life traveling regularly she feels like she should go just to leave London for a little while. Maybe with a friend. "Yeah, that should be fine. I'm ready to go somewhere else. But, erm, Libby could you book me two tickets for the plane please." <br/>
Libby knows from working on Florence's press team for five years that this would be for Isa, of whom Flo practically refuses to go to interviews without. "Yeah sure. I'll send you the passes and dates." <br/>
Now Florence has no choice but to call Isa after two weeks of leaving her alone. Isa agrees to travel to New York as soon as Florence asks. Apparently, she'd been waiting for an excuse to leave too, neither of them can settle at home. Florence makes sure to apologize for another two weeks without contact. Even with everything they refuse to say to each other, there are smiles on both ends of the telephone line.</p><p>Only a week later Isa is stood on Florence's doorstep at five am in the morning waiting to load the multiple bags Flo will inevitably be bringing into the car. They'd both decided on staying two weeks in New York so they have time to visit all their favorite spots around the city. Isa is more than excited to get out of the house and although there are still nervous around the interview Florence is happy to escape any jobs that are to be done at home. Isa lets herself in and shouts as for her friend to show herself as she walks down the corridor into the kitchen to refill her coffee mug. Apart from missing the constant sound of some form of stereo nothing has changed and life here is as peaceful as possible. <br/>
Isa feels someone's long arms around her as she reaches for the coffee. "Morning morning." Florence laughs reaching it down for her. Isa wriggles free and continues to make coffee for the two of them as if she lives here. They both gather everything they'll need for the nine-hour plane to New York and trundle out of the house.<br/>
With everything loaded into the car and the two girls fuelled by caffeine, they start the hours drive the Heathrow. Isa puts on Funeral by Arcade Fire, one of the albums that they first started making music due to. Even without the heavy memories of those days attached to it, no one could not feel alive when listening to every beat in this album. It's emotional but it's living and breathing, that's what the two need for an early morning. <br/>
"Did they say anything about what this interview would include?" Isa asks after twenty minutes of comfortable silence. <br/>
"Yeah, it sounds like they want to know about what it's like to slow down in life. I think it'll be a very honest one." Florence ponders as Isa reachers to place a protective hand on her knee. <br/>
"Remember you don't have to share anything you're not comfortable with." Isa reminds Flo as she stairs out of the window. As much as that reminder is for Florence it's also to save herself. She hates having to hear about the mess Flo was in, it makes her heart physically heavier. <br/>
"Yeah, I just feel like it's probably time to talk about it. This album seemed to be a collective act of pain laced with the hope that we will all be okay. I feel like everyone who listened to it was in that together so it might be nice to talk about it more. It seems that if I can talk about it others feel like they can talk about it too." </p><p>It's not long before Florence is asleep on Isa's shoulder as she reads on the plane. Isa can't remember the last time she bought a book even though she spends hours reading. Whenever she needs a new book she is straight round to Flos, or over the last few months, she's picked through the sholoft to find any books Flo left behind. This book was called Cast Iron and it was some sort of murder mystery, it's not bad but it's not Florence's usual so Isa wonders who's left it at her studio. <br/>
Before long Isa is shaking Flo awake so they can get to baggage collection and sleep off the jet lag quickly as possible. They both chase through the airport like they did the first time they were jumping off the plane for the first tour with a sudden burst of energy. If there was ever going to be a problem with the distance that had grown between them it had been forgotten about. Once you've been through so much with one person you reach a point where nothing could ever change. </p><p>-</p><p>"Oh my god. Isa you bitch I'm going to kill you." Florence screams as she chases Isa through the busy airport. They'd been trapped on a plane for hours and Isa had decided to steal the jumper that was tied around her friend's waist. It belonged to Flo's current boyfriend who was definitely now out of sight and out of mind. Mairead curses both of them wondering why she had thought it was a good idea to bring a teenager and the giddy equivalent on a tour. <br/>
"They don't know what's about to hit them," Chris had muttered having the tiniest it of experience after a weird road trip turned music tour. <br/>
"They're just kids. One day they'll be walking through here tired and fed up with life. Let them live," everyone looked at her as if she was some sort of profit. "That's if they make it to the age of thirty." <br/>
It wasn't long before they had managed to find Flo and Isa by the baggage carousel beating each other up in play fights. Over that tour, it took a lot to get the girls from place to place alive. The whole band quickly learned that drinking on tour made it impossible to perform so that quickly stopped. For Isa and Flo, it seemed that there were more teary eyes than hangovers. Mairead figured that it must have had something to do with the endless loving hugs but the lack of any commitment.</p><p>-</p><p>The next day there were up ordering room service as Flo got ready. For a relatively small interview, no one could be bothered to fly hair and makeup out so it was just plain Florence that would be turning up. Isa is more than content with the easy morning. As both of them are continually finding out, the happiest parts of life seem to be cups of coffee and slices of toast, questions like 'will you zip me up' and 'can you throw me a hair bobble'. When they thought of turning thirty all those years ago it seemed like a death sentence now it seems like freedom from themselves. <br/>
"You ready? Got everything." Isa looks to her friend as they walk out of the hotel room they share. Libby booked them two beds but by the time they had arrived, they'd collapsed into the same bed and fell straight to sleep without any mention of separation. <br/>
By the time they get to the interview Florence's jitters have kicked in. The garden that they are filming in looks like it belongs in the Chelsea Flower Show. There is a relief that passes over Florence when she realizes they'll be outside but anyone could see her slight unease. Isa and Flo get handed passes for the garden that seems to be full of people in dark clothing despite the heat. Florence, on the other hand, is dressed in a long red mesh dress with a white underlayer and green shades of embroidery. Paired with ruffles and brown high top boots she looks as if she's come from a cottage in the woods. <br/>
Another man all in black with messy dark hair stops in front of them, he too is in a black top that says 'ITT Studios'. "Hello Florence and Isa. I'm Mark I'll be interviewing today." He smiles seeming perfectly happy in his own skin as he offers a firm handshake to them both. "So, unfortunately, we're being pushed to start soon. I'm sorry I would normally give you time to ask me questions so that you're more comfortable but I'll get yelled at if I do that today." He gives an awkward laugh. He must only be 24 but is already the nicest interviewer Florence has met. "What I've managed is for them to give you time to read through the questions and remove anything that you're not happy with." <br/>
"You're the first person who has ever checked that with me. Thank you it means a lot." <br/>
Isa goes to introduce herself to the team working the cameras as that's where she will be sitting for the rest of the interview. Florence takes her seat in front of the cameras to start going through the questions crossing out and making notes for Mark. <br/>
"Okay all done. Thank you I'm more at ease now." It was Florence who was giving a nervous giggle now. <br/>
Isa watches as different cameras adjust to take different shots. The questions range from the creative process to dealing with drinking. Somehow Florence manages to balance laughing about her problems to talking seriously and openly about them. Maybe this is how she makes others feel at ease. <br/>
"What is it like being in New York?" Mark asks with no idea of the answer he will receive. <br/>
"Everyone seems to think that whenever I come to New York all I feel is sadness but really for all the pain I leave here there are so many happy memories to out weight it. I'm not just miserable." Florence exclaims with a laugh before continuing. "I think over time I have found myself crawling back here when I was in a bad place." Another pause while Florence looks up. "Part of me must have wanted to leave London for happy memories, pain that wasn't so drastic. You know like hangovers." Mark laughs as Florence continues to raise her hands to explain herself. "New York already held traumatic experiences so it made sense to keep those memories here and leave London as a safe space. I've never thought of it so deeply before." More hand waving occurs as Mark waits for her to continue. "Places quickly become areas that hold the many emotions I feel. That's part of what the stage has done over the years." <br/>
"What hold emotions for you?" <br/>
"Yes definitely. It's like we are all there and we can go through this collective healing together. That's such a me thing to say." Florence laughs. "I throw a lot of my emotions on stage so I can hand myself over. I see the crowd doing that same. Especially when I ask them to strip." This makes everyone who is behind the camera hold back a laugh. <br/>
"Is that what Sky Full Of Song is about?" <br/>
Isa realizes the tension she is holding in her body after twenty minutes through. There is always a worry that as soon as Flo comes out of the interview she will go into full panic attack mode. Isa has faith that this time it will be alright. <br/>
After twenty minutes the interview is over and the girls are free for the next two weeks. Florence tells Mark that if he wants another interview to text her. Flo spends the rest of the day dragging Isa around record shops and thrift stores that cannot be found in the UK. <br/>
The sun is starting to set by the time they leave the Italian place that is bustling with young romances and already tipsy drag queens. There is nothing Isa hates about New York. The weather is a cross between her LA lifestyle and her London home, the people are the best of both worlds and the bars aren't full of awkward British conversations. As appreciative of Soho Isa is, she wishes that they had a bigger gay nightlife. <br/>
Both of them are exhausted as they drag heavy feet and weary heads into the elevator and up to their fifth-floor hotel room. Florence didn't find the interview stressful so it was a fine day indeed. <br/>
"You all good?" Isa asks quietly. Florence got asked questions about all aspects of life that she has never discussed with Isa. This happens all the time but Flo always answers with one word and moves on swiftly. Not this time. It was all very hopeful and there was not a tinge of hurt left in Flo's voice. Isa just wished she could talk with Florence about this. Even though the day has moved on Isa can't help but check. <br/>
"Yeah, I'm good. It wasn't too bad." Florence smiles unbuttoning her own dress and swapping it for an old tee. "He was kind. There's been much worst. It was nice to actually get to spend time with you too." Florence beams and walks away. It goes unused now but the nickname Robot that, Isa so loveling appointed Flo years ago still stands. Other people's emotions are not her forte. <br/>
Isa watches Florence turn to wash her face. It's only eleven pm but she's obviously ready to curl up and watch tv. Isa throws her clothes in a pile and finds shorts and a top to put on as she sits on the sofa ready to get distracted by the endless pit of social media. Small tears start to form in her eyes but she makes sure to blink them away as quickly as possible. All these years she's held so much worry in her heart for Florence and there was still so much she didn't know. The warm hotel room seems suddenly cold as if the AC had been turned on, even the nice furniture seems too much for Isa's sad aching head. <br/>
Panic bells are ringing as soon as Florence sees Isa hugging her legs staring into her phone. "Isa are you okay? Come here." Florence motions for Isa to get into bed with her and doesn't need to ask again as Isa is already burring her head under her best friend's long hair. "Why are you crying what's happened?" <br/>
She can't look Florence in the eye. Just the glimpse of concern she saw as she walked towards her was a reflection of how she'd been feeling for the past ten years. "I just want you to be okay. If I could just fix everything. Make you happy." Isa sobs shaking in Florence's arms. Something rather unfamiliar for the two. <br/>
"I'm okay Isa," She pauses. "Isa look at me."<br/>
"Mmm."<br/>
"I'm okay. Look I'm still alive, living, healthy." Florence smiles. <br/>
"You weren't for so long. There I was stood beside you as you downed another shot, threw in more pills, skipped another meal, and fainted in another soundcheck. I stood there right by and handed you drinks and held you while you shook. I didn't know you were hurting so much." Isa lets out a sobbing breath before looking down to cry. <br/>
"Oh my gosh, Isa," Florence can't do anything but hold her close. "You did nothing wrong. I was determined to destroy myself and it didn't even hurt at the time. How could a small human-like you try and fucking stop it? No matter how feisty you are." Florence tries to joke. <br/>
"Why didn't you tell me when you were trying to get better? You told me you were writing an album and then I just left you." Isa is managing to breathe again but there are streams of tears down her face Florence is taken aback by the devastation she's caused. <br/>
"Hey, you needed that okay? I didn't want to bother you with any more of my mess Isa. You had work to do alone. I wanted you to go. You're able to be so much more than my friend hiding behind the piano." Florence whispers knowing that she's lying, knowing that being around Isa was causing more pain but Isa leaving for LA made everything worst at the time. <br/>
Isa looks around the room like a lost puppy with tears in her eyes and hair stuck to her cheeks. Florence feels her shake as she tries to take in her breath before dramatically failing. "I just couldn't watch you destroy yourself anymore. It hurt so much Florence." She chokes out between breaths. <br/>
"I'm really sorry I put you through that Isa." Is all Florence can think to say. Sure, she knew that having her sister or Isa find her passed out pissed on a floor was not a nice thing she put them through. But this? She was just trying to find some kind of love from somewhere. Never would she have guessed it was this hard for Isa. She didn't really know it had been hard for herself.<br/>
"You were there and you were fading away. Falling asleep in the middle of the TV shows we watched, putting your hands under boiling water just to feel the heat, starting to smoke again to avoid anything else. I literally had to watch you fall apart and I couldn't do anything." Isa pauses to check Florence is okay. She doesn't notice her friend holding back tears. "Every time I asked or tried to approach the obvious issue you laughed and said it was just the tour stress or how you weren't creating or how you weren't getting enough sleep." Both girls sit in silence stunned by how much pain was still held so fragile in their hands. "Then you made this beautiful album and there were horns and strings and long notes. It felt like a sigh of relief. I watched all the press you did, how you looked happy. Not one single hangover, you seemed fucking healthy. You were eating and dancing and making art like no tomorrow." <br/>
"That's a good thing right?" Florence is wondering why Isa still sounds so broken. <br/>
"It was amazing Florence. Until I realized that there was my best friend. She went through all that healing without me. I wasn't there to hold your hand over meals or to make you coffee to replace vodka. I felt too guilty to even address it." <br/>
"You look at me, Isabella. We're okay. We made it." Florence watches Isa calm her breath and start to fall asleep somehow exhausted already. She knows there is a lot more of this conversation left and she doesn't know how much of it she could take. It seemed like she'd done enough taking over her years, especially from Isa. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for every kudos left on this work, I love hearing what you think. Feel free to message me on Tumblr @cosmicfairyflorence</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Florence and Isa find some time to simply live</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Nothing more is mentioned about the conversation of the night before. Both of them wake up content that they can move forward with more trust in what has been said. The unsaid belongs to another day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Plans for the hours ahead?" Isa questions Florence who has been awake and rereading Virginia Woolfs - The waves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not sure but we're getting room service for breakfast. Then I'm not sure." Florence doesn't look up but just keeps underlining in her book. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Deal but I'm picking what we have," Isa demands, making Flo laugh at her friends' control. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I'm ready to sit and do nothing all day.' Isa thinks to herself still tired from travelling. She doesn't know how she's survived four tours when she's this tired now. Florence is thinking the same, she doesn't doubt their quickly returning friendship and wants to hear about Isa's last few months, listen to the album she's made, just generally show up and be a good friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Isa dials down for breakfast while Florence drags herself to the shower. No matter what they do in the next two weeks Isa wants to know the stories behind all the songs on the album Florence wrote sober. She wants to hear the stories from the studio and tales from the Met. They both need to catch up. As normal as life is they're still missing a lot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Breakfast arrives just as Florence is emerging from the bathroom making her run back in to hide with only a towel to cover her body. Isa just laughs and starts to clear all the bed covers so they have space to eat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Polite persons do not take meals in the nude Florence." Isa quotes a favourite film all while watching Florence bust into bouts of laughter and hurry to get dressed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When breakfast is all finished and set aside Florence starts to question what they're going to do with the day. "I don't know. You're the one who said you're always down to hide, I don't know with who but you could sit and explain." Isa prompts assuming nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm always down to hide with you silly." Florence laughs not knowing just how much it means to Isa, that she's written into Florence's songs. "You knew it was about you Iz." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wasn't taking any liberties!" Isa laughs sitting at the end of the bed playing with blue-tack. "When?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence knows exactly when. It was in the first few months of the How Big How Blue tour when neither of them could sleep before 2 am, (the time that they used to drag themselves home from clubs to make sure they could perform the next day) they would stay up and hide from alcohol under the bed covers. 2015 was the first time that their method succeed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before long both girls had turned off their constantly beeping phones and were deep in conversation about Isa's life while Flo was preoccupied with Bonnie in London. Isa had started drinking in a 'very mature way' and she'd scored a few big projects that Wikipedia was kind enough to give her credit for. They both listen to the album that Isa is creating and start to discuss what she wants to do next. "I might sell the sholoft and find something posh in London." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't you dare." Florence looks grief-stricken about the thought of losing her favourite studio. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm messing with you! No, I'll probably retire for a bit." Both of them laugh a little too hard at this point. "I don't lead a particularly extravagant life, I'm sure I'll do just fine until the next tour. I might try to work with new people. Who knows? Let's face it I'll end up coming to see you every day through boredom."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wouldn't mind, I think I need it. The only thing keeping me sane is dates with Bonnie and all those random fashion events that keep popping up. They're pretty fun." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh you're definitely getting into that Gucci high life aren't you Flo?" Isa teases as Florence goes to top up coffee giving her a dirty look from across the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No no and no. I've just found that all the collection creators are artistic and they're so gutsy it's kinda inspiring. Plus Alessandro is such a G." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both paused to look at each other. "I cannot believe you have just said that Florence Welch." Isa manages to get out rolling around in laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck no. Where have I got that from?" Florence buries her head in her hands. "It's all those educating Manchester programs, the kids are always saying it." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They quickly move on as if to erase the memory. By the time two o'clock had arrived, they'd only just started putting the world to rights. It was like old times but with the more intellectual subject matter. The riveting conversation doesn't stop Florence from getting restless and Isa from complaining that she is hungry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on let's venture out and find food and fresh air," Isa whispers as if she doesn't quite want to leave. Florence gives a quiet nod and pulls back her hair so it doesn't make her hotter than the weather is already doing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Isa," Florence turns around to face her friend as they walk out the hotel room. "I feel 22 again." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, Flo don't cry it's okay. It's called being happy." They both laugh and carry on with Isa skipping down the long corridors. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>=</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After two weeks in the hot sun that is ever-present in New York's June Florence is happy to find shade back at home. London has reliable grey clouds and sun that won't frazzle Florence's skin. Yet again Grace has appeared even though they both know they are a thousand other things Grace needs to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you so happy about Florence? I love that you are but you've been like this since you got home." Grace questions having arrived without Bonnie ten minutes prior. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've been back four days Grace!" Florence laughs. "I love that you're here but I've seen you three times since I got home. What's going on?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just, I'm tired and I don't know." Florence's face that was full of joy from the last burst of laughter drops as she looks at her sister. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Grace, do you think you need a break? You went straight back to work and not stopped since. Being a full time working mum isn't easy." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine I have all the school holidays off and I can cope." Grace looks down smiling, it's almost believable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, Grace you see the thing is, I did exactly what you are doing right now for 20 years. Fortunately, or unfortunately for you, it means that I can see straight through how you're pretending to be okay." Florence puts her hand on her little sister's shoulder. "Tell me what I can do to help." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know Flo. I get up at 6:30 with Bonnie to get breakfast and her ready for nursery. Then she sits and watches TV while I go and pull myself together for the day. By the time she's in nursery, I'm straight into school to sort the classroom and glance over lesson plans." Florence interrupts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Grace slow down I'm still listening to you don't need to speed talk love." Florence takes her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then once I've done with teaching I have to move onto the days marking. I manage to get her from nursery at 4:00. By the time we're home I'm cooking dinner or even if that's not happening I'm washing. Then we're onto games and then it's bedtime. It's just repetitive and it's getting stressful. Dan helps with everything, he does a load of the housework and he cooks but you know. I'm just a little overwhelmed." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, Grace that sounds very tiring." Florence sighs smiling at her sister. "I think I know someone who would very much like to help out with childcare." Florence smiles as Grace suspiciously nods. "So how about this, Isa and I get Bonnie from nursery at three and then we'll bring her to your's for four and if you're having a late working day we'll just stay with her until you're home. Then you won't have to drive over to get her and you don't need to worry about getting home for a certain time." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Florence, I love you and I love Isa too. But you both have lives that do not revolve around looking after my child every day of the week." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well Mum can do some days and I'll do others. Grace dear, you have a whole family that loves you and Bonnie. There's no way we'll just sit and watch you get so stressed." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as Grace has left Florence runs straight to phone Isa after deciding it would be a more interesting call than her mother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good morning Flo. I left you, what, 14 hours ago? What's happened?" Isa sounds amused, or at least the bits of the sentence Florence can hear over the crashing do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bella, what the fuck is going on in your house?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, the plumber was needed. This place is falling apart." Isa laughs nervously. "Anyway, what is the emergency?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just come over please and bring bread." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Isa chuckles while quickly pushing her bike through the hall making sure to throw her spare frozen loaf into her bike basket. London seems, yet again, buzzing with life. For a moment Isa can't imagine that she ever lived anywhere else. What would she do without confused looking tourists and busy Londoners pushing past them? By the time Isa arrives she's horribly sweaty and almost feels embarrassed about the state she's in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Isa pushes all these thoughts from her head, between mosh pits and hot stage lighting neither of them was bothered about perspiration. Isa's bike gets lent against the wall next to Florence's as she starts shouting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Flo?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here!" suddenly a Florence wrapped in a robe emerges leaping down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is it not late enough in the day for clothes?" Isa teases.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's too hot for real clothes, by the look of you you already know that." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Isa has managed to shower and find something of Flo's that doesn't completely swamp her they're sat at the table waiting for toasties to ping. The whole time Florence looks at Isa and seems to have forgotten that she is supposed to have news.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Florence you're fucking killing me can you just spit it out already? And wipe the wicked smile off your face." Isa laughs.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought you liked this face, Isa." Florence quips as Isa can only roll her eyes at the memory. "Okay okay. So Grace was over earlier and she's overwhelmed with work and looking after Bonnie. So I may or may not have signed us up for 2-3 days a week of school runs while we don't have work." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Isa's face changes straight from concern to a wide smile. "Well, how could I complain at that." It's not long before the shadow on Isa's face is back though. "Wait Bonnie probably doesn't even remember who I am Flo." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence is hit with a wave of guilt, she knows that Isa hasn't seen Bonnie in awhile because of the distance between the two of them. "Isa, are you kidding me? She was the only one who was continually reminding me about you for months. Auntie Isa this and Auntie Isa that." Florence laughs. "Aunite Isa would let me do it. She's so bossy." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Since when was I </span>
  <em>
    <span>Aunite </span>
  </em>
  <span>Isa?" The small blonde looks at her toastie blowing on it to distract from the emotion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Since she's been able to form complete sentences. It makes sense that someone who does the same job as her other Auntie is called the same." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence envelops Isa in a hug realising how much of an effect Isa has on everybody in her life. Through the maintenance work that is going on at Isa's house and how sick Florence is getting off the same four walls they quickly find themselves walking to the sholoft without much thought about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I forgot how hot it gets in here." Florence immediately complains opening the two windows the room has. There's not any reason to be here. The albums that Florence is now writing require either a lot more equipment than this or a lot less. Isa still prefers to do all the mixing she can here meaning that she mainly carries packed memory sticks into professional studios to tidy up with good equipment. Overall this studio is just somewhere to hide. For the first time since Flo and Isa have started to spend more time together, Isa feels completely at ease. She doesn't feel the pressure of having to keep a constant conversation or how she needs to keep glancing over at Florence to see if she's entertained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remember the first time I ended up here?" Florence laughs looking at Isa. Isa remembers all too well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Isa is trying to drown her loneliness in work, as per usual. An unfortunate call from the studio had meant that she was stuck at home for the third Friday night in a row. She'd been roped into a contract with a big recording company a couple of months back, at the time she'd presumed that it would be a great opportunity to work with different people. She didn't expect being pushed around like a dog and being constantly asked to work over the weekends. She has spent the last week cursing herself for being so foolish as to think that music would leave her with freedom and no commitment to a nine-five like so many of her friends. She's too young to be missing out on all the fun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the last three weeks, she's smoked more weed than she did the first time she was at Glastonbury festival and that's saying something. Although she knows that she won't be able to keep her coping mechanism for much longer it's brought her a little comfort as she's watched her friends have fun. Along with beating herself up about taking the work, she's also beating herself up over how jealous she is of her friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All in all, it had not been a good month and Isa needed company. After a good three hours of mixing pointless beats, there's knock at the door. With some hope that one of her friends remembered that she's alive she pegs it to open it but to her surprise, and slight disappointment, it's not a familiar face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Erm, hello dear?" Isa takes one look at the young girl stood at her door in only sequin shorts and a thin white blouse and suddenly knows that this girl not going to be leaving here for a while. Her dark blonde hair is plastered to her face and none of her clothes are suitable for the sleet that is falling over London. (They never get real snow here, too much heat from the buildings.) </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry but I kinda remember you from before and I don't know where to go." The girl says in a quiet shaky voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh god, child come in, come in." Isa quickly ushers the girl through the door and up the stairs. For some reason, she recognises her as a deep memory that she had long forgotten. As much as Isa hates her current set of work she is thankful for the way she can pay the heating bills in such low temperatures. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Isa has sat the girl, who is at least a head taller than her, down with coffee and covered in blankets she notices the crying. "Hey, whatever is wrong you're safe here. You can get warm and then you can tell me your name." Isa whispers kneeling to face her in front of the sofa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before long and with no more words exchanged the stranger has swapped out what must have been her clubbing attire for a tee shirt dress and is yet again cradling her coffee. "You gonna tell me who you are now?" Isa smiles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm Florence." She answers shakily. "I'm sorry I'm here. I took too many drugs and then my boyfriend broke up with me and I'll scare my sister shitless if I go home looking like this. I think I'm hungover." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Woah Woah okay. You're fine here. I do not mind at all. I'm sorry but I don't remember you." Isa tries to prompt an explanation as to where Florence knew her from.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Erm well, you used to babysit my siblings while I wasn't responsible enough. I think we've been going to the same house parties since. I see you around a lot."  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly Isa starts to recognise features of Florence's face. She'd defiantly changed a lot since she last saw Florence, she must have been 15? "Wait, Florence as in Florence Welch?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yup that's me aha." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh my gosh, you've grown up so much! Jeez, last time I saw you were protesting about not wanting to take Spanish was it?" Isa laughs as Florence starts to feel more comfortable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well yeah, that does tend to happen." Florence laughs shyly. She always had a particularly soft spot for Isa, something tells her it's not only a drive to be friends with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I'm glad you ended up here and not at home if I'm honest Florence." She smiles and takes Florence's hand. There are still tears rolling down Florence's cheeks. "As much as your mother seemed to take a liking to me she defiantly wouldn't be happy with you right now. Do you know what drugs you've taken?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Erm like," Isa waits to make sure to give Florence time to wrack her hungover head. "E and booze. I think that's it, I'm all good." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them spent the rest of that morning taking Florence through her recently ended relationship. She looked terrible, she felt terrible and she was very unhappy that she wasn't able to smoke with Isa. All her past experiences with weed were petrifying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a very long conversation, Isa can't help but ask. "Florence, how old are you?" For a girl that was so emotional over a breakup and hangover, she was still very mature. Mix both of them and Isa had no idea how old Flo was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"17." Florence bites her lip and continues to pick at the cushion. Isa scolds herself for even thinking in the way she was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I'm no stranger to alcohol and drugs but just please don't destroy yourself." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I was such a mess. I feel so bad for you." Florence laughs looking at Isa. "One moment you were working and the next you had a hungover crying teenager on your doorstep." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wouldn't change it for the world. I was worried about you like 'shit is this little kid okay?' Then I realised that you were always a mess and it was all fine." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oi, you rude thing!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both of them end up reminiscing over old memories for the rest of the summers day. Isa was supposed to be in the pub and Florence was supposed to be visiting her Dad but, yet again, they've dumped all engagements so they can be together doing nothing. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wasn't too sure what I wanted to write for this chapter seen as the only reason I am writing this fic is so I could write the chapter before this one. That was 'the chapter' that I started this fic for aha. So anyway this chapter is a bit more laid back but my wonderful friend who checks all this shizz for me said that it wasn't terrible so I didn't edit it to make up some big drama :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bonnie has more wisdom than anyone else in Florence's life. It's important to listen to three year olds.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please remember that this is based on real people but I cannot speak for anyone in Florence's life, all pure fiction. Including Bonnie, I wasn't sure about how invasive it is to write about her but her characteristics are completely made up so I've reasoned it okay.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two weeks later and picking up Bonnie from school has meant Isa and Flo spend most afternoons together and now most evenings too. With every rough night that Florence had had recently, Isa had been straight over and with every wave of anxiety that Isa had felt Florence had cycled the four miles to be with her. Of all the new truths that had arisen recently, Isa was still hiding. It took a lot to open up to Florence about this big sense of dread that had filled her body recently. She didn't dare tell Flo, sweet, crazy Florence that she thought these waves of panic were due to her. Ever since Isa had first pushed any thoughts of dating Florence out of her mind they would return at unwanted times. At the start of each new tour as they share the same bed, when they would end up dancing far too close for it to be normal in clubs, as both of them tried to build other relationships. All Isa had ever wanted was to be with Florence but the feelings had never been returned. The last two weeks had been a dream that Isa thought they would never get back too. Well, it had been a dream if you ignore the heartache that'd accompanied it.</p>
<p>Isa finds herself waking up at Florence's. It's gone ten by the time Isa flickers open her eyes still tired from the school runs that she didn't expect to be so tiring. Apparently entertaining an energetic three-year-old for even a couple of hours is tiring. There is so much light in the room you would presume someone had left the lights on which seems strange for Florence's blackout blinds, maybe they were not closed. Isa rolls over sure that she fell asleep in Florence's arms, disappointment setting in as she finds her bed empty. Obviously, Florence is more than welcome to go where ever she pleases but it would be nice to have a note and not an empty bed. Added to this Isa knows that Florence doesn't want to wake up with her in case the subject of their relationship is brought up. It hurts. It hurts that Isa is here and Florence is gone.</p>
<p>Isa takes to using the tracking app on her phone to find Flo. Apparently, she's in the park they practically grew up in as kids. As much as Isa knows that she loves the crazy and sometimes unstable woman that is hiding in a tree she can't help but be mad. Not shouting and screaming mad, like about to give up mad. All these years, all these tears and Florence is still completely unaware of how much her actions affect Isa. Running away as if it makes life for everyone so much easier only to find it ends in conversations no one should have while angry.<br/>Isa spends half an hour of rewatching Gossip Girl and soon, a shy looking Florence is creeping through the door. Isa can't even look at her not now.<br/>"Nice of you to make an appearance," Isa says slowly, coldly and quietly.<br/>"I'm sorry I went for a walk. Do we have plans for the day?"<br/>"Depends on how often you want to run off." Isa still hasn't looked at Florence.<br/>"I was walking not running off." Florence keeps trying to move on with the day. She knows that this conversation is inevitable but so is death and everyone still tries to avoid that.<br/>"No Florence you were running away again. You've been doing it since the day I met you. Come close to a difficult conversation, runoff into the arms of a boy that couldn't give a fuck about your emotions. Feeling like something in life is about the change, runoff away from it into a bar. Realise that this isn't a sustainable lifestyle, runoff and throw yourself into something new."<br/>"You're being unfair." Florence looks at her best friend in the eye not ready for another serious conversation. It was more fun when these talks didn't exist but then again she used to think that there would never be a time where she thought life was better without booze.<br/>"I'm not being unfair Florence. Every time I've slept over you're never there in the morning. You're always out of bed no matter how early it is because you're so fucking scared of having a conversation about the two of us. It's like you know that this isn't normal, this isn't even normal for us you just don't want to have the conversation."<br/>"Isa all I've ever been able to help you do is destroy yourself. How can you blame me for running away from doing that? A conversation about all the mess I've caused. Sounds painful." Florence pleads exhausted yet still with rising anger.<br/>"We are in our fucking thirties Florence. How would you be helping to destroy me? I wasn't going to turn around and go 'oh yeah you're drinking away your problems let me sit down and do the same.' I'm old enough to make my own fucking decisions." The usually calm Isa is now raising her voice.<br/>"Why are you so angry?"<br/>"Because Florence while you walk around happy with your speeches about recovery and getting better I have to sit and listen to everything you never told me. You act as if there are no new wounds but we've barely talked in the last few months. It's nearly normal or maybe this is the new normal but it's like your hiding Florence." Isa is louder than usual but even without the change in dynamics Florence could hear the anger held in her voice. "It's like you think you're this completely new person that I would never be able to get on with. Yet when I look over at you you're still laughing in the same way and spinning around with your arms thrown out like you always have. But now, with this new Florence Welch that has emerged, instead of spending weeks hiding with me after tours you go home alone. Instead of coming back to watch endless romcoms, you go to fashion events." Isa's voice is louder than Florence is used to and it's not helping either of their tempers.<br/>"You're acting as if life stays the same forever. Everyone grows up Isabella. Why can't you understand that? You might still wanna be a little kid but some of us are ready to move on and live like adults." As soon as Florence sees the reaction on her friends face she knows she done it. Without even thinking she'd used words that she knew would cut deeper than a knife. She most certainly knows that she is the one acting like a child.<br/>"I'm gonna go home for a while. Maybe next time we speak the mature version of Florence might have appeared."<br/>With that Isa just leaves. Gone.<br/>Florence can't do anything to stop it, she knows she can't just take her words back. The house is bathed in sunlight, a day like this would normally be one of Florence's favourite times to be home alone. With all the space to write and draw in the garden, they wouldn't normally be any problem. But not today. Today she's sent the only person in that's been with her through everything out of the house in near tears. For someone who had come to peace with being a little broken, she feels the overwhelming sense of dread. The words 'there is no one coming' play round and round in her head just like they did in 2014. The absolute fear of being an adult and knowing that you are all you have. Your whole being is controlled by you and nothing else.<br/>Today was not a day to face notebooks and pens, today was not a day to look online and feel a yearning for festivals, today was not a day to cook homemade meals, today was a day simply to survive. To make it through and to do the one task that has to be done.<br/>In thick pink pen, Florence writes 'COLLECT BONNIE' on her fridge then moves on to binge-watch Netflix. By lunch, she's settled for super noodles and a change in the Netflix program. Looking at the fridge it dawns on her.<br/>How is she going to collect Bonnie when she can't drive? There's the option of the bus but she feels like anything coming in contact with her skin will make her cry, including the strangers on public transport. Plus she doesn't think that taking a three-year-old on public transport on a very busy day would be good for either of them. Added to this Bonnie is normally half asleep by the time they've driven down the road. A phone call is in need.<br/>"Mum, I know it's my day to get Bonnie but could you give me a lift there in the car?"<br/>"I thought Isa was doing that, she always seems so happy when she does. What's happened?" Florence was expecting a quick yes from her mother, not an interrogation.<br/>"Erm, yeah she's busy today. I forgot that she was."<br/>"If you say so. I'll come by in 15 minutes. But it'll have to be a quick trip to Grace's, I have dinner plans."<br/>Florence can't help but be slightly envious of her Mum's ever-flourishing social life.</p>
<p>By the time pickup had been done very quickly Florence was at Grace's house for 3:30 which meant she had at least half on hour to play with her constantly growing companion.<br/>"Aunite Flo, tell me where Auntie Isa is. Please." Bonnie requests as Florence pulls frozen grapes from the freezer.<br/>"Do you not have homework to do? Shall we sit and work on it together?" As much as Florence does not agree with making small children do homework she loves teaching Bonnie how to read. Normally it's the easiest distraction from difficult conversations about subjects Bonnie doesn't need to know about even though she could easily understand them.<br/>"No, I dided reading already today. Where is Auntie Isa? Do you not love her anymore?" Bonnie looks more concerned than Florence does. Does she think that she and Isa are dating? "Aunite Florence, tell me why you look sad." Bonnie crawls into Florence's arms with a caring frown, more emotionally aware than many of the adults in Florence's life.<br/>"I'm okay missy." Florence bops her nose. "Of course I love Aunite Isa just like you!"<br/>"No not like me. Like," Bonnie pauses scrunching up her face. "kissing her on the lips love." Bonnie pulls another discussed face while Florence laughs.<br/>"Shh, shh come on reading."<br/>"Flo," Florence knows by the reproachful way Bonnie is saying her name that the little girl has heard her mother saying this. "What happens with Isa?" As much as she sounds like Grace her broken English reminds Flo that she's still so young.<br/>"Oh my gosh, Bonnie you're growing up too quickly." Florence laughs. "I and Isa are fine. We just had a disagreement this morning."<br/>"Well, sort it out. If Mummy and Daddy disagree they sit down and talk and it's all fine. You have to make up with your girlfriend." Bonnie says in a demanding voice as if Florence has no other choice. At first, Florence is relieved that Grace has never had a fight that's upset Bonnie. Nothing to haunt her childhood like it did Flo's. But then she registers the use of the word girlfriend.<br/>"Auntie Isa and I aren't dating Bonnie dear."<br/>"Well, you should be. I getting Teddy." Bonnie walks off as if she's just had the most normal conversation with her Aunt.</p>
<p>An hour later and Grace is home and seems a lot calmer now she's had help over the last two weeks, a sight Florence is relieved to see even though her own stress level is through the roof today.<br/>"Thank you, Flo," Grace gives her a kiss on the cheek as she places her work bags on the kitchen table. "Where's Isa?"<br/>"Jesus it's like if I take one moment away from that women everyone thinks she's dead." Florence resorts rather sharply earning her a cold stare from her sister.<br/>"Auntie Isa is not dead. Is she?" Bonnie starts to cry making Grace stare at Florence even harder. With the demanding maturity, Bonnie shows Florence forgets that she will obviously still take everything literally.<br/>"Isa's not dead she probably just has work today. She's all good Bonnie."<br/>"But Aunite Flo said." Bonnie sniffles.<br/>"No, no Aunite Flo is missing Isa too so she's a bit grumpy when people talk about her today." Grace carries Bonnie off into the hall to distract her with the TV.<br/>"It's because Aunite Flo and Aunite Isa aren't together like you and Daddy." Florence hears her niece telling her Mum. Grace seems to have turned on the TV and is happy to leave Bonnie occupied now she's wiped away the remaining tears.<br/>"Well done Flo. Really great going." Grace says walking back into the kitchen. "She's three years old and cares about Isa more than most people she knows. You can't act like that when she doesn't understand." Florence looks down jumping off the kitchen side she was sat on. "Flo?"<br/>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Florence puts her shoes on. "I'll see you on Friday." She mutters walking out of the house as quickly as she can knowing Grace will have moved on with life and Bonnie will have already completely forgotten.</p>
<p>Florence doesn't know where she's going or how she's going to get there but she knows that she needs to be somewhere. From many years of experience, it's at least six miles, if not more, to Isa's studio. It's another four back home and Florence's loafers are not suited to the walk. The only option left is to wander with nowhere to go. The centre of the city is a long way away but the places she used to roam are just around the corner.<br/>Florence sees the pubs and the busy green spaces, the old empty halls that they once tried to have a tour of, the flats above shops that she would all too often end up passed out in. All the pubs are full. She sees bands lugging around stereo equipment, she sees young couples laughing at everything and nothing, she sees friends leant on walls smoking. Isa and she used to smoke once upon a time. As Florence started to perform more they had limited cigarettes to a Wednesday only. For some reason, Wednesday was the day for drinking, smoking, drugs in her area of London. Before long she's walling past the Black Sail, somewhere they were long banned from before they moved to the Joiners Arms.<br/>"You alright love? Look a bit lost?"<br/>"Me, lost here? Oh if only. I practically used to live here." Florence laughs at one of the random boys taking a swig of his drink. She's glad to see that the boys around here hadn't lost any of their nerves.<br/>"Want a fag?" he shouts over making her laugh. As much as she doesn't miss being blackout drunk around here she does miss the community the pub provides. Not that any of the old team are down here anymore. A lot of them have amazing careers in art and are in America or posher parts of London. Happy nostalgia overwhelms her. Smoking doesn't actually count as not being sober, plus it was always something she could drop in and out of.<br/>"Yeah sure." The kids chucks her the packet. "Cheers. Your name then?"<br/>"Max and this is Jack and Roy." He motions to the two others at the table. The air smells of smoke and sweat and weirdly somehow the heat that is beating down on them. It smells like memories.</p>
<p>Florence sits with the three strangers smoking and talking about life around here, nothing has changed apart from the faces the three pull when Florence mentions how the boys used to be. At one point there was even a 'Nah that's shit, we don't treat women like that around here.' With everything that has changed in only 10 years that must be the best thing. Another round of drinks gets called as the boys laugh at the lemonade order Florence places.<br/>"Oh trust me, if you've been blackout out in most of the flats around here you've have stopped drinking by 33 too." Florence laughs more than used to having to explain this.<br/>"No way are you 33."<br/>"Sorry to disappoint but yes, yes I am." Florence laughs. "2006-2010 was when I would spend a lot of time around here. So only a few years after you were all born." Everyone laughs with midweek joy.<br/>Before long the afternoon is fading into evening and Max has to get to work, apparently, he's sound tech in one of the local venus, ungodly hours. Florence takes the chance and excuses herself too.<br/>Before long she's found a bus and is ready to go talk to Isa, ignoring the smell of smoke that easily attaches it's self to any fabric it comes in contact with. She manages to curse the hill at least a dozen times before she reaches the top. Why would the bus drop off at the bottom of the hill?</p>
<p>Unusually Florence knocks on Isa's studio door. Normally there would be music so loud that there was never any point in knocking but not today. Before long she can hear footsteps coming down the stairs that are ahead of the door. Whatever happiness that meeting strangers at the pub had brought her was quickly fading as she thinks about the conversation she is going to have to have.<br/>Whatever happiness is left is quickly crushed. A girl just a couple of inches shorter than Florence appears at the door in a long tee shirt and pants. "Erm hey?" The girl ventures to ask.<br/>"I was just erm looking for er Isabella." Florence stumbles out casting a knowing eye over the situation.<br/>Isa must have heard her friends voice because she soon appears at the top of the stairs in a similar state of dress with a very sheepish look on her face. "I'll go. I'll see you around Isabella."<br/>Florence doesn't make it down the street before she starts crying. Of all the things she'd expected of Isa that last thing would be that she went to seek solace in sleeping with someone else. Florence decides that she can walk the rest of the way home. She may as well cry while walking than be crying on the floor at home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This story has taken such a turn in a direction I didn't think it would! We're going to run with it for now but it's making the next couple of chapters a little difficult. I'm pretty sure Bonnie is acting a couple of years older than she actually is in this story but whatever right? I loved writing her into this. She'll defiantly make another appearance. Thank you for the kudos here! I hope everyone is safe and well&lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Someone finally admits defeat and can't hide their feelings any longer</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Isa spends the next week hidden in her studio refusing to talk to anybody. If the phone rings, she ignores it, if there's a friendly face at the door, she says she's working. Even when there's nothing left in the fridge Isa refuses to move out of her space to go to the shops. It's been a long time since any of the people that often visited here, including her, had depended on alcohol to get them through messy situations. This week it was back to old ways. Vodka had been a great balm for many broken hearts that had pasted but this time around it seemed just to remind Isa of failure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first few days, Isa couldn't remember how she had even gotten to sleeping with Lisa. Then she'd remembered that it'd been Lisa who had come round and instigated the whole thing. They had history and Isa wasn't a stranger to Lisa's body in the middle of the night. Even though Isa is, and never has been, with Florence both of them know how much it hurts to see the other with someone else. Every time Florence had a boyfriend they knew that was the end of their nights together for a while until he, like many of the others, left for someone not so manic. While Isa moved between girls in clubs Florence watched painfully trying to find someone to pass her another drink. The whole thing was an excruciating experience for anyone aware, namely Rob and Grace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rob had first started joking with Isa about the noise's that he used to hear but as soon as he'd seen the expression on Isa's face he'd known it was something more that was clearly not to be discussed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe I should call her, or go to her house," Isa says talking to the walls very unused to the lack of company. Even though Isa guesses that Florence doesn't have feelings for her (why else would she refuse to talk about their relationship?) she knows that the fight they had and then added to that Florence's finding of Lisa, meant that Isa's left her best friend feeling pretty heartbroken. Heartbroken by someone she isn't even dating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Florence has drifted back into the state she was in before her and Isa's trip to New York. Some social appointments and dates with Grace as well as JJ have continued. Something feels off though. As if there's really no point to such a boring existence. She's convinced that it's not because she depends on Isa for enjoyment. Florence had worked really hard at letting go on things she depended on to be happy so that she could sit and be happy within herself. This had worked in the main, she didn't need anything but simple pleasures to be happy anymore. Part of her questioned if being in love was a simple pleasure that a lot of people depended upon to be happy (she could never figure out if her feelings were normal) but she was quick to chide herself in being a hopeless romantic. What's happened had happened and Florence was petty enough to refuse to go back and try and make at least something better with Isa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes Isa another three days of hiding to get herself into the shower and get dressed in real clothes. She's only a year off forty for god's sake life shouldn't be this hard. With every instinct, she has to run she has a feeling telling her if she doesn't sort this out now she'll be hiding for the next ten years. Every time there is some silence Isa's thoughts drift to what Florence had said. She knew that Florence was scared but there was a big part of Isa that was angry. Angry that they'd got to here and they both knew the other was hiding something, angry that they'd got to here and Isa still didn't know how Florence felt about her, angry that there was so much left unsaid. For as long as she could remember Isa had been level headed on the outside. Nothing had ever phased her. In her head it was a completely different story, everything was a disaster. When she was little and tried to express this her father dismissed her and told her to grow up. Yet again her she was hating the life out of her father and yet somehow being glad for his overbearing presence. Both her and Florence were hurt someone had to do something about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon enough she's stood on Florence's doorstep ringing the bell she didn't realise was there before she had reason to use it. Florence arrives in front of her before Isa has had a chance to collect her thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Isa?" Florence questioned even though Isa was sure that she didn't look bad enough to be unrecognisable. The tall women on the doorstep looks practically glowing in extremely short shorts and a loose blouse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought you deserved a lot better than an 'I'm sorry' text." Isa looks down somewhat sheepishly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come in there's no point us standing at the door." Florence turns round letting Isa's anxiety level reach the max. Florence passes her friend a hot cup of coffee from the recently boiled kettle and signs for her to sit down at the table while she takes a seat on the countertop staring at her friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm really sorry I walked out on you after saying all those horrible things. You didn't deserve that. Nor did you deserve to find Lisa half-dressed answering my door." Isa pauses waiting for Florence to say something but she doesn't. In an attempt to make the whole conversation less awkward Isa keeps talking. "This is no excuse but every time I fall asleep in the same bed as you all I want is to wake up next to you." Isa can't help but look for some reaction on Florence's face. Florence keeps looking down into her spiralling coffee so Isa carries on. "I'm not going to sit here and lie anymore Flo. I want to wake up with you every day. I want to be able to kiss you, and not just when we decide it's a great idea to have sex on tour. For as long as I've denied it I'm fucking in love with you Florence and I'm really fed up of not being able to tell you that every day." Isa finishes knowing that there is no taking back what she has just said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence moves from sitting on the counter to a stool next to Isa taking Isa's hands in hers looking her in the eye. "How long has this been going on?" Florence whispers as tears escape Isa's eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know." Isa swallows trying to make herself as honest as possible. "Really when I watched you run around the stage on the Ceremonials tour. I wanted to pull you off and wrap you up so nothing could damage you." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All anger that either of them had is gone. Florence takes her ringless fingers and wipes away the stray tears on Isa's face. "Why didn't you tell me this before Isa?" A smile appears at the corners of her mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"By the time I'd realised how I felt I'd seen you throwing yourself at multiple different boys and not once showing any interest in girls. Never mind in having a proper relationship with me." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence thinks that this is probably the most vulnerable she has ever seen Isa look. Sat at her kitchen table, completely sober and confessing feelings that she'd been holding in for six years. "I was trying to distract myself from you in every way I could." Florence decides that it's time for her to explain her side of this story. "With every new relationship that I was in it was another excuse not to have to think about how I felt about you. When you moved to LA I tried to burry everything and move on and I kept trying to call you but I always stopped myself because I was so sure that you would never feel the say way."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So," Isa is cut short by Florence's lips on her's. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too Isa," Florence whispers leaning her head on Isa's letting herself appreciate every ounce of care that Isa had poured into Florence's life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is so cliche Florence." Isa laughs pulling Florence in closer. "Come on we're going to end up on the floor if we stay here." Isa starts to push Florence up the stairs before either of them have had time to come to terms with what has just happened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They spend the rest of the day at Florence's trying to make up for the past six years they'd 'denied' themselves of each other. By the time they're back in the kitchen looking for the next meal Florence had three missed calls from her mother and one from Grace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mum was trying to find out why Bonnie was refusing to eat her banana. So no panic there's not a problem." Florence laughs throwing her phone across the room onto the sofa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Isa watches Florence start to make curry completely from scratch while wondering how she'd become so good at cooking. While they're on tour the food options were a buffet from catering or meals from the hotel meaning that Isa had never had any need for learning to cook. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Isa goes and places her arms around Florence's waste resting her head on the talker girls shoulder best she can. "Since when did you become such a domestic goddess Florence Welch?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm, now that would be telling. Do you want to try some?" Florence puts some of the paste on the end of a teaspoon and feeds it to Isa who has moved to sit on the surface. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh my god, that's disgusting." Florence immediately bursts into laughter she was trying to hold in. Isa definitely is no culinary chef. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course it is you muppet, it's </span>
  <em>
    <span>a paste</span>
  </em>
  <span> which means you need to boil this with a stock cube and the rest of the curry." Florence continues to laugh as Isa reaches for a drink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You bitch feeding that to me!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I couldn't resist it. I'm trying to refrain from calling you a dumb twat too." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, shit Florence you even put things in the dishwasher here." Isa laughs as Florence finishes cleaning all the pots that it takes to make curry away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm beginning to wish I never fell for you Isabella Summers." Isa leaves the room leaving Flo to think about what they wanted to do with the few hours of daylight remaining. Both of them have done too much walking in the past few weeks and only Isa can drive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Isa, can we go for a drive? Somewhere with fields and a skyline I can actually see?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where do you suggest?" Isa asks laying flat out on the sofa looking tired. Half of the exhaustion is from the relief that for all this time Florence had felt the same, the other half must be all the questions about what will happen next. No one had mentioned a relationship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How about Southampton? It's like an hour and a bit." Florence pushes just for some escape from the city that's been on top of them for too long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay okay I can drive us but only because I care about your sanity." Isa points a finger and goes to find clothes and pick up her car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Flo I'm in the car," Isa shouts having agreed to drive to the closest national park to see the sunset. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence takes one last look in the mirror now she has changed into paper bag trousers, a blouse and a wide-brimmed hat with her ginger locks escaping a low messy bun. She had never been bothered about how she looked around but now she knows how Isa feels she feels the need to pull herself together. She knows it's completely irrational, Isa has seen her passed out on multiple floors and has also seen her covered in piss and sweat after posh pits. Tired eyes and loose hair are attractive in comparison. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two of them are soon sat in Isa's car hoping that it'll get them there and back without falling apart. Florence is in charge of vague directions, she always has been. Neither of them knows why Florence as has always been able to get lost on the simplest of routes. For both of them, it had been the simplest form of trust since they first met even if they got lost it wouldn't matter because Florence had been trusted with a task that no would normally leave her with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe we should talk about the whole feelings thing." Isa prompts laughing as they stop in outer city congestion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ask away." Florence reply simply. It's easy to talk if someone gives you a starting place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The traffic moves and they're able to turn onto the motorways that are such a bore to drive on. "When did you know you liked me?" Isa pauses looking down at Florence's fidgeting hands. "How much time have we wasted." Isa laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh Isa, when I turned up at your door hungover and crying I knew you were hot." Both of them laugh. "I suppose I was too lost in everything to think twice about how I really felt for a long time. My heart ached for random boys. I did really like them, for a while but I think I needed that time I had off between 2013-2015 to sit down and go 'oh fuck. I really like her and she's a girl.' Realising that required more thought than just thinking that I liked boys because that was the norm." Isa places her spare hand on Florence's knee needing her to continue with her ramble now she'd got her talking. "I think at the end of my drinking career I knew it." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Isa starts to realise that there is not much more talking to be done. She understands Florence better than she does anyone else she knows. There's always been one thing, one questions he needs an answer too. "What about Felix?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence laughs, much to Isa's surprise. They'd been on tour when the two had broken up and Florence had spent two weeks being mopey and refusing to eat anything but porridge and diet coke. She'd spend the two weeks after that complaining that she wanted vodka. It was a mess. "I cared about him a lot." Florence starts slowly. "There was nothing to say that he didn't care about me too." Her face looks slightly less full of joy. "We knew we wouldn't last forever. We were deep in it and we were incredibly lovesick but we were acting like teens. As much as I ignored it I was missing being able to fall asleep next to you and he wanted a wife and kids." Florence looks down. "I don't think I want that and I don't know if I can anyway. Eating disorders fuck you up bad." She laughs away the memory as Isa takes her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Flo, that's okay. You don't have to have a family. Not everyone wants kids and domestic life. And if you do that's a whole nother matter."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, yeah it is. It's not really a concern." Florence is smiling again thinking about the future. "I want a few years off but I'm not stopping performing, ever. I wanna be that bat shit crazy woman running around at 80."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, who let you talk to Patti Smith." Isa laughs trying to move on not knowing if Florence wants to continue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was almost so invested that I forgot about my feelings for you. While we were so far apart I didn't have to think about how much I missed it." There it is again, a somewhat contagious giggle. "Anyway he's happy with Laura and they have a cute kid." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And we made it here before the sun had a chance to run," Isa whispers driving the car over the boundaries that are supposed to indicate the car park. They end up parked not far off the edge of the cliff overlooking the sun setting over the valley. City life suites both of them, but being able to see the countryside for miles and miles is a release that they both need. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Isa swings her legs out of the car taking a few moments to stretch out her body in the sun. Florence knows she can't stare much longer but right now she could watch Isa for the rest of the evening. For someone so small she manages to climb onto the car roof with ease. After watching her legs disappear above her Florence decides she better get up there too. No one has shown this car any attention for a long time so it doesn't matter how many marks get made on the roof as they both lay there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We end up on the roof of things far too much." Florence muses after laying in Isa's arms for an hour. Somehow they've managed to keep each other warm in the cool breeze that has replaced the suns heat. "To give yourself over to another body / That's all you want really / To be out of your own and consumed by another / Not to have to breath / Not to have to think," Florence whispers reciting lines from the poem she wrote for Queen of Peace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Flo?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry I was just reminded looking at the view here." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence buries her head in-between Isa's head and shoulder. "Wanna talk about our relationship Flo? We've done the hard feelings conversations now." Isa says to the sky knowing that she'll hurt Florence if she moves her head at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence doesn't say anything for a while. "I don't really. I'm not very good at romantic relationships, I always fuck them up. I don't want to do that here, we're fragile after all these years." Of all the things for Florence to say that was the last thing, Isa was expecting. It stung a little, after everything over the last 24 hours Florence still didn't want to address their relationship. Isa could ignore that because there was a big fire of hope in her, Florence doesn't want to fuck this up. This must mean a lot to Flo and Isa know's that it's only been a few hours of calm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on let's go be all clingy at home." Florence pulls Isa down ready to go home and settle. Maybe even settle into a relationship.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I've had this ready to post for awhile now and somehow, I must have been dreaming, I thought I'd posted it already. Anyway I hope you enjoy it, I still don't know where this story is going</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Isa and Florence attend there first dinner together but Isa is not too happy about the men that seem to constantly swam Florence.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter has a fairly detailed paragraph about eating disorders in. I have marked the start of it with stars and the end of it with stars. Please please skip that bit if you are in any way affected, don't worry you won't miss any part of the plot. I was debating cutting it out but it's the most honest thing I've ever written so I feel it's important for me to include. Thank you all</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Over the next month, Isa practically moves in with Florence. Summer is in full swing and Bonnie is now free from school meaning that Isa doesn't need to go back to work to be entertained. Between sleep over's with her favourite little person and getting to stay with Florence without any moving vehicles involved, there is some peace of mind. Florence is writing poetry every day and there seems to be a new Gucci dress at least every week. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Bella," Florence whispers as she pulls Isa into a hug from behind pressing her body to the smaller women that she's holding. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hmm," Isa lets Florence sway with her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I've been called out to dinner in LA. What do you think? Shall we go together?" She whispers knowing how loud her voice can be when she's stood so close. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Honestly Flo, for someone who hates flying you end up doing it a lot. It's only been two month's since we flew to New York." Isa laughs holding Florence's hands around her waist. So much has happened in just six weeks but still, neither of the girls had made anything official. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm kind of missing seeing everyone." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I didn't realise you were such good friends with them all," Isa says turning around to face Florence pressing a quick kiss to her lips. "I don't fit in there but we can fly out to LA together. I'll go to visit Barry." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I wanted you to come with me so I could introduce you to my friends." Florence looks for some form of agreement and Isa can't help but give in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay fine. I'm sure hanging out with a load of entitled rich people will be fun." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey, that's unfair. They know their social standing and they're doing their best to help." Florence tries to explain. She feels enough guilt being wealthy and extremely privileged herself so trying to throw herself into any charitable cause but she knows it's not enough to excuse her privilege and other people's misfortune. If you could call a system that was designed to beat people down 'misfortune'. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa wriggles out of Florence's grasp going to flip the record that's been spinning empty space for too long. "I will show up like the beautiful girl you claim to be in love with," Isa shouts across the room once they've finally agreed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She knows that neither of them has plans for the day and she also knows that if she doesn't do something she'll feel shitty. Time for a walk. It takes ten minutes for Isa to find a pair of boots that belong to her and not Florence. "Isa, try not to take forever. Weather says it might rain," Florence shouts from where she's made a blanket fort around the sofa, Isa shouts some form of dismissive reply before trying to pick an album to listen to. She's been British since the day she was born meaning that it's been a long time since she's trusted the weather forecast. Her fingers scroll through the various albums she has saved on her Spotify over the years, as an early adapter to not stealing music from artists she'd been using it since 2013 so there is a lot to choose from. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She'd made it down the hill before she settles on listening to Florence's How Big How Blue How Beautiful. Isa didn't have much to do with the writing or recording of the album and even with all the shows, they did she doubts that she'll get fed up of it any time soon. As she reaches one of the oldest roads in the neighbourhood it starts to rain and it's not just summer showers. This is hot, heavy and accompanied by thunder and lightning. Before Isa knows it the opening sequence to Various Storms and Saints is playing and it couldn't get more ironic. The storm Florence, the women that Isa's pretty sure that she's in love with, spend hours turning into metaphors has seemed to make an appearance in her life which is a bit of a storm in its self. Everything is always more emotional in the rain but the fact that she'll be turning 40 next year hits her like a bullet. She has never found that her age has tied her to any type of action. The life plans that are landmarked by birthdays always made her feel sick. It's not settling down at a place or job that she wants as she hits almost 'middle-age'. It's another two miles home in the torrential downpour and thunder but what can she do? She's the one who didn't listen to the weather so she'll have to walk with her thoughts for a little longer. Before long the lightening is at a level where even the dog walkers seem to have retreated inside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Is it a sensible idea to walk up this big hill when the lightning looks like it's hitting everything at the top? No, it's probably not, Isa tries to reason with herself. Then again it's the only way back home. Hiding starts to play loud and clear through the earphones that have been turned up to play over the thunder that's ripping through the sky. 'Maybe I'm hiding?' Isa thinks to herself. Something is missing as she enters her fourth decade. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She's love forty down. </span>
  </em>
  <span>There is a way back to being okay, she just needs to find it. Fortunately, unfortunately, Isa knows that the answer lies with Florence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another massive crash of thunder and Isa knows that this is what's missing she doesn't need to settle in a job or a place, she just needs to know that she can be with Florence. Not best friends that are in love, but instead two people who are dating. She's love forty down but this is how she can get out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Florence decides in the time that Isa is walking around in the rain, that she needs to start her next creative project at some point. That some point has to be soon. She turns up the TV so she can block out the noises of the storm outside and to try and provide some white noise. She doesn't want to retire, that's as clear as day and she would be happy to go and write another album. The question is, does she want to throw herself into the cycle of endless interviews, press releases and shows? She loves performing but she can't stand overnight transfers nor can she agree with the CO2 she produces every time she gets on the plane. All that's ignoring the hole in her heart that seems to be full of loneliness when she gets back to empty hotel rooms after performing for thousands. Touring is a laugh, it's a whole new family, it's a river of emotions but it's not easy. Added to this it's only been 10 months since the last touring process and she's not sure she could drag the band, and herself, through it all again so soon. Maybe a new album is off the cards for now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At one point there was a joke about her writing a stage show but then she doesn't feel any desire to do that. God forbid anyone who knows her knows that there is no way she'll do anything that doesn't pull her whole soul into it. She's never had any motivation to do anything that she wasn't head over heels in love with and while she's lucky enough not to have to earn a constant living she's not going to half-heartedly do anything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe she can work with Isa on that album she's completely fallen out with making. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> she could start dating Isa so they can make collective decisions and not just assume that they can take on projects with no regard for what the other is doing. There is no maybe involved in the fact that there is a fast-approaching conversation about their relationship coming up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">
      <span>Two weeks later </span>
    </span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>******"Hey, you okay?" Isa finds herself starting at Florence who is turning around and around in the mirror of the hotel as if she's trying to see every part of her body at once. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah yeah I'm good." Florence waves her hand dismissively going to sip her green tea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa places one hand on the black mesh that is covering Florence's blue silk dress at her waist and uses the other to remove the hotel cup out of her Florence's grasp. "You don't need green tea, what's the matter?" Isa whispers knowing that green tea means feet on and off the scale and pale skin and bruises everywhere and shaking hands and feet on and off the scale and three calorie jellies and fingers around wrists and bones uncomfortable on beds and lightheadedness and oxygen that tastes like Splenda and feet on and off the fucking scale. It means someone is struggling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I just feel like," Florence starts trying to beat her brain. "I just feel fat in this." she spills out like an embarrassing secret. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Flo, look at me," Isa waits for Florence to pick her eyes up off the floor. "You may feel that way and that's okay. You need to accept that feeling and move on in this dress for today." Isa tugs at the phoenix that's embroidered in orange at the front. "Being 'fat' is not bad it just means your alive. That you're living." Isa hopes she's said the right thing. She's heard from Florence herself that 99% of people say the wrong thing completely accidentally. Florence stands in Isa's arms for a while longer while Isa plays with her still unbraided hair. "What have you eaten today?" Isa realises that she hasn't kept track of how Florence is doing with her disordered brain and just presumed that she had it under control if that's possible when it comes to these things. It's much easier to think that everything has moved on as long as she's not at the obvious rock bottom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I had soup for lunch," Florence whispers knowing that she's not doing her best to stay recovered. Crawling back to comfort foods and 100 calorie soups does not count as responsible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Flo," Isa sighs. "Okay look life goes up and down and eating disorders are hard to leave behind forever. You have the choice of just making this a bad day and go up from here." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Florence doesn't know what to say. She never thought she was sick in the first place nevermind having to watch people she cares about looking at her with such worried eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're gonna be fine you don't need this. I hate to break it to you but you're gonna be monitored by me for the next few weeks missy." Isa hands Florence a Clif bar that she's found from the hotel minibar and reaches up to kiss her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Just don't tell Mum." Florence turns around and continues to get ready for dinner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm pretty sure a few bad days don't need everybody on your case. You're gonna be fine, I've got you." Isa wraps Florence in another hug trying to somehow pass her strength on. "Anyway, you need to advise me on what to wear. I don't know if I'm any good at these things." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Florence makes a mental note to thank Isa for saying the right things at the right time. Of course, she's right and she's been in this position before. Isa picks out a pair of fitted trousers and a jacket. Dresses have become Florence's thing and jackets hers. Neither of them has time to do anything other than a quick swipe of makeup before the taxi has arrived. After many similar dinners, the younger girl knows exactly what to expect and who she will, and more importantly will not, be talking to. There are certain social circles that everyone falls into and it's an unspoken rule that you stick to them.*****</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They arrive at the venue without much of a problem, a few shouting men behind cameras but nothing new. The Gucci team have a set of tables in the middle of the room that Florence and Isa are lead to by one of the many security guards in black suits. Florence can see the anxiety on her friends face as she takes her hand and leads her to people she wants her to meet. There are maybe a hundred tables in the expansive hall. Unlike the big award ceremonies, there is no stage at the front. In fact, to Isa, it just seems like a high hall with some decorative ceilings and interesting art on the walls. There is plenty of space between the seating letting Isa know that there is a certain amount of movement that is expected, not only because of space in seating but also because of the people moving around the place already. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The table Isa and Florence have been shown two has no one sat at it but does have shawls on seats and jackets left behind by people that must already have moved to talk to others. "Isa, it's fine. Everyone may be in their best dress but they're just human." Florence squeezes Isa's hand. "Come on, do you want a drink?" She reaches into the middle of the table and pulls out a bottle of gin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You have to make your drinks here?" Isa laughs being reminded of house parties in university digs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's just easier, there are some weird drinks requests so everyone gets what they want if you leave all the alcohol available." Florence makes Isa a G&amp;T and is happy enough to pour her more than a double shot knowing that it'll help her relax a little bit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well, Florence Welch it's been a while since I've seen you mixing a drink." A voice from behind makes them both turn round. Florence bursts out laughing as she throws her arms around the tall, dark-haired man. "It's good to see you again, I had no idea you were coming!" He says, both their faces filled with joy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh Daniel this is Isa," Florence turns to towards the blonde handing her the drink. Isa shamelessly takes a long swig. "Who is extremely nervous." Flo awkwardly giggles looking between her two friends.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"First time at one of these things?" Daniel guesses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, yeah it is." Isa smiles shaking his hand. "But it's nice to meet you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Don't worry too much. I remember when Alessandro first invited me to one of these dinners. I knew literally no one and everyone seemed to be in these big cliques, I soon learnt that everyone is similar and no one is judging you." Isa smiles feeling like if Florence gets whisked off like she usually does, then Isa try and spot out Daniel in the crowd. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The three of them figure that they're all sat at the same table as others start to fill in ready for the evening meal. Isa is soon able to name all but three of the people seated at her table. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Alessandro this is Isa, my pianist and friend." Florence places her hand on Isa's shoulder introducing the two quickly before they all sit down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I've heard a lot about you, it's nice to finally meet you." He comments looking her in the eye, something that Isa is not used to. Alessandro is sat to Florence's right and Isa to her left, or they would be if Florence wasn't stood up with other people. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ah, I could say the same to you. Thank you for all the dresses on tour, they were all so beautiful." Isa smiles unable to keep eye contact as she spots a man in a suite place his hands on Florences shoulders from behind and place a kiss on her cheek. She feels her cheeks blush red as the man makes Florence laugh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Isa?" Alessandro must be trying to talk to her, she refocuses and nods to him. "Are you and Florence like a thing yet?" He smiles, knowing something about this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Erm well," Isa stammers caught off guard by someone who could be classed as a stranger asking such a question. "No, we're not." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"She likes you and with the reproachful glare you just gave poor Stabastion you're in the same boat." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Florence pulls out her seat to sit down between them but not before Alessandro gets to shoot her a knowing look. Isa swears he's nearly 50, surly he has bigger things to concern himself with?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa ends up deep in conversation with Fawn, a girl who has recently joined the Gucci designers team after recently graduating from Central St Martins. Much to Isa's surprise, no one is wound uptight over the evening and it seems more like a bunch of family friends. At some point between courses the man, she had come to know as Stabastion is walking over to the table. Isa can't help but place a protective hand on Florence's thigh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Flo," He gets her attention without placing his hands on her this time. The way he refers to her as Flo instead of Florence makes Isa uneasy even though she knows that Florence prefers the shortened version. "Want to come to talk to the Versarche team? I think Gaga is here." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Florence immediately smiles at Isa to excuse herself before lifting Isa's hand off her knee to go with Sabastion. He takes her by the hand and leads her away across the room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Florence returns only after dessert has been served and looks like she's been having the time of her life. Isa joins in with the discussion that is going on around the table and the rest of the evening seems to pass in a blur. Five people, about half the table, were going to the after-party but were retiring to get dressed first. Isa knows there will be another half hour of idle chatter and as much as she likes everyone she needs a break to regain herself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bathrooms were some of the most ornate Isa had seen for a long time. Not overly spacious but full of marble and soft lighting to make you look prettier than you are. Soon the blonde hair that now falls past the women's shoulders has been thrown over to one side and she's removed the heavy necklaces to give herself a break for a second. Before she's realised it there are two slender arms draped over her shoulder and someone placing light kisses down her neck. Isa looks into the mirror to see it's, of course, Florence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I was wondering where you'd got to." Isa can feel the taller women's breath on her ear. Florence lowers her hands to Isa's waste while biting on her neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Florence Welch, what are you trying to achieve?" Isa questions forgetting the flirting with Sabastion that Florence had made no effort to hide only fifteen minutes earlier. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I came here to find out whether you wanted to go to the after-parties or come home with me." Florence turns Isa to face her immediately pressing her lips to Isa's. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I was presuming that you were going home with Sabastion." Isa pulls away from Flo, still unable to move her body with Florence pushing her into the sinks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why would I want to go home with anyone else Isabella?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You tell me. He seems like your type, someone you'd normally go home with." Isa gives Florence a cold look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Are you jealous Isa?" Florence almost laughs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa places two hands flat on Florence's chest her fingertips touching her friend's collar bones. "How could I not be jealous of someone else getting," Isa slides her hands down Florence's body, over her boobs and to her waste. "this," Isa swears she could hear Florence's breath hitch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isa keeps one hand at Florence's waist and moves the other to cup her face gently moving to kiss her. "So you don't have a problem with Satbastion then?" Florence whispers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No. Maybe the thought of someone else being so," Isa tries to phrase what she's thinking correctly. "close to you made me more protective than I would like to admit. Come on let's go back to the hotel." Isa waits for Florence to step back letting her walk away from the sink. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Florence take a shameless stare at her body. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before they're allowed to leave for the night Florence goes to do the mandatory goodbyes. Isa stands rather impatiently leaning on the pillar at the closest to the door. There was no way she could have a mistake the suggestive tone in Florence's voice earlier. What should have been a quick round of goodbyes and hugs seemed to be taking years. A few people exchange waves with Isa as she waits and tries to stop her mind from wandering too far from the official event in front of her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Relief is all that Isa can feel when she sees Florence confidently striding towards her clutching her purse. "Took you long enough." Isa chuckles as Florence walks straight past her expecting to hear the click of Isa's heals follow her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Is that a problem babe?" Florence says looking over her shoulder at Isa knowing the effect she is having on Isa. With a few extra long strides, the shorter girl is managing to keep up with Florence as they walk outside to see the long line of black cabs waiting to take people back to hotels. Florence recalls the name of their hotel to the driver and answers a few pleasantries about the dinner. This time it's Florence who has her hand at the top of the other girl's thigh a smile playing on her face as she watches Isa bite her lip. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we are at the end of another chapter! Thank you all for continuing to read this I'm really enjoying getting back into writing it. Let me know if there is anything more you want to see or if you have any criticism (or just want to teach me how to use commas.) Hope everyone is safe and well &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There's a lot left to talk about but for now there will be peace</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Flo?" Florence wearily opens her eyes to find Isa staring up at her. Somehow they'd fallen asleep with Florence wrapping all limbs she had around Isa's small body now meaning that there is no way Isa can move. <br/>"Can you release me?" Isa laughs waiting for Florence to take action. Instead, Florence squeezes her tighter rubbing her noise into Isa's hair. <br/>"Why would I want to do that?" Florence presses a kiss to Isa's forehead. <br/>"Because I have work today and I need to leave soon." Florence pouts and pulls Isa on top of her making sure that there is no way of escape. It's not long before Isa is tickling her waiting for her to lose control and curl up in a ball to defend her body. This is exactly what Florence does and Isa takes the chance to run and get ready.  </p><p>While the older of the two goes out to brunch or talk about the next production ideas Florence passes the day shopping and dropping in and out of every store she finds. She even decides to walk in and out of all the high street shops too. Material objects, things bring great her great comfort. There have been many occasions where Florence can remember claiming she is going to become a minimalist and leave all of the possessions she's been collecting for 33 years behind. This has never happened, they have ended up symbolising a lot of emotional baggage and it seems wrong to let go of years of your life that way. <br/>There are a few people that give her knowing smiles as she sits in the window of a random coffee shop that she hopes is not a chain. There are many places you get to travel on tour but not many you get to know. LA, as well as New York, London and Edinburgh, is one of the few that seems familiar. There are so many new and famous faces everywhere that Florence practically blends in or even when recognised is accepted as just another partially known body. <br/>After an hour of reading one of the paperbacks, she'd picked up only a few hours ago her mind drifts to Isa. She knows it's not fair to keep her in this limbo period much longer. They love each other, apparently, everyone knows that now but Florence still can't face the fear that she could drag Isa into one of her needy, self-hatred spirals and then Isa would have an excuse to leave forever. After a few years of not dating anyone in fear of not being stable or capable enough to hold a relationship down, is she ready to jump into something with Isa? <br/>Florence's opens her phone to google, 'should i date my best friend' is the first thing she types in her search bar. Definitely a bad idea. <br/>It took Florence awhile to come to terms with the internet when it first became mainstream. This should have been a given as it takes a while for her to get used to anything new but the internet was somehow different. Important things like her parents divorcing caused catastrophically big feelings. She can distinctly remember not leaving her room for four days. Her mum had felt so bad about how much the news had upset Florence she'd let Grace take all of Florence's meals into her room. Florence spent most of the time asking Grace to give her hugs. She remembers when her boyfriend from her first proper relationship had dumped her and even though she'd have sworn that she was deeply in love with him as soon as they broke up she was out partying like there was not a happier moment in her life. Every single thing that has ever happened to her big or small has always set off her emotions, everything in life is like a little tiny fist punching different parts of her heart to set off different reactions meaning that sometimes they'd hit the wrong spots. The internet, however, didn't set off any type of emotional reaction. For the first few months, it was a revelation. Then it became a big hole of numbness. Flo has always known the internet is an amazing exchange of information and art but there are still too many empty pictures. At first, it wasn't too overwhelming but now it's taken over and provided the perfect space to numb your feelings. <br/>Florence puts down her phone and walks back to the hotel hoping that Isa will be back soon. Google is full of terrible advice that she doesn't intend to follow. </p><p>The hotel room defiantly looks lived in when Florence arrives back ready to jump straight into the shower. There are clothes everywhere, and not in the organised fashion Florence normally covers hotel rooms in. There are clothes and things all over the floor as if someone has been in, emptied there suite case and tried to find something to wear and items to throw into their bag. She steps over all of the outfits careful not to get dirty shoes on fresh lace.  "Gone out clubbing for the night. Don't worry if I'm back late." The note from Isa reads. Florence settles in for a longer night than she'd like.</p><p>Isa laughs as Josie pulls her down the street and into another bar. It's only just gone 11 pm but they've already had to move away from one club due to the number of sleazy guys staring them up and down. Only a few hours earlier both girls were sat at a flashy bistro with Barry one of the executives turned friend that they'd both worked with last year. As unusual as their friendship was it worked and they had even fallen into a route for whenever Isa is in LA. The three of them meet up for a few hours of day drinking at whatever new bistro Josie had found. Barry would stay until the girls were ready to hit on the waiters and then he would walk them to wherever Isa was staying and he'd feel like he'd done his safeguarding for the week. As a kind-faced 70-year-old with a white beard, he was like a grandad to the two of them. A grandad that would order himself a whiskey and refuse to buy a drink for the two of them because he still thinks they're too young even though some people would claim them to be too old. He was always there with a warm hand to hold when they needed it or there just as a person to vent at about the frustrations of the modern world. Today Barry had left the two of them in the hotel lobby at only 5 o'clock meaning that there was time for Isa to throw every single item that she's bought with her on the floor trying to find something shorter than the flowing dresses Florence had got her into. <br/>"Isa, come onnnnnn," Josie had drunkenly giggled while she tried to pull Isa away from the note she spent 5 minutes finding the right words to scribble. <br/>Both girls are soon ordering shots for every lonely soul sat at the bar before anyone had the chance to try and offer drinks to them. Isa watches Josie down her what must be her fourth or fifth shot knowing that she is lagging behind. Josie seems to have noticed the same thing giving Isa a slurred look and waving for more vodka. <br/>"Come on Bella," Isa feels like she's watching from above as Josie brings another shot glass to Isa's lips and tries to tilt her head back in an exaggerated sip. <br/>"Josie I have Florence waiting for me back at the hotel I really can't go back," There isn't an opportunity for Isa to finish before there's a cold hand on her arm pulling her into the bright lights and warm bodies that would be far too close if you weren't in a happy drunken haze. Isa is so wrapped up in the thought of how disappointed Florence will be when she returns like this that she doesn't even notice Josie draping her hands over her shoulders and pulling Isa's body into hers. <br/>Isa notices her drunk friends breathe on her neck before she notices the way Josie is starting to move her body into hers trying to close a space between them that doesn't exist. There are several things Isa misses about clubbing every weekend but the feeling of going home with someone that you don't really like was never part of the enjoyment. Giving your body up to a stranger is fun but it's not as enjoyable as giving away your heart. <br/>The lights that are flashing in time with every beat of the music suddenly become all too bright and the smell of alcohol and lingering cigarettes is sickening like it's never symbolised fun. "No, no Josie I have to go. I can't do this." Isa shouts over the music. <br/>Isa feels long arms move away from her and some space open up around her. Before she has a chance to think about it she's running towards the entrance to the club not really bothering about the number of people she is pushing out of the way. The street is surprisingly cool, Isa can't figure out if it's because of the temperature or because of how warm it is in the club. "You can't do what Isa?" <br/>"I can't have you so close to me. I have a girlfriend waiting for me back at the hotel and I'm already drunk enough." Isa folds her arms and starts to walk away from Josie, away from the club. <br/>"You're not even dating her Isa!" She hears a frustrated shout after her as she runs through the streets waving her arms in dismissal knowing that Josie is right. </p><p>Florence is more than used to entertaining herself at home by now but it's harder with the constant wonder of just which version of Isa she'll be dealing with when she returns. For the past six or seven years, she's only had to deal with an Isa that's in a state of giggles and exaggerated fortune-telling but in the back of her mind, she can't shake visions of hellish comedowns and pain that Isa (and her at times in the past) would drag home with her.  <br/>She makes sure to find an emotionally investing film and something interesting to do. By the time she hears someone pulling down the handle on the hotel room door, she had finished a whole friendship bracelet and the Normal People series. Isa must be creeping along the corridor Florence thinks because she can't see her coming into the room or hear the click of heels. <br/>"Good to see you, Bella," she quips hoping Isa is in a good mood. <br/>"Hey," comes back a short whisper. Florence can see what she's come to know as worry on Isa's face but she can't for the life of her work out what could have happened. <br/>"If you're worried about the mess you left around here don't worry I've cleaned it all up. You can rest in peace." Florence goes to help Isa take her hair out of the bun she's got it tangled in. "Wanna talk about what's worrying my normally bubbly Isa?" <br/>Florence thanks the fact she can smell alcohol on her friend hoping that it will make her more confident to talk. "I think the fact that I'm not yours," Isa whispers turning around to look at Florence with guilty eyes. <br/>"What?" <br/>"Just, I don't know. Josie was very drunkenly dancing with me in the club and I just couldn't take it. It feels so wrong being with anyone else other than you," Isa looks down pushing her shoes into a neat pile near the wall.  "But I'm not actually dating you." <br/>Florence pulls Isa's small body into her's not knowing how to react this time. She knew this was coming, she has always known this was coming one day. "Well how about we change that?" <br/>For someone that looked worried only two minutes ago Isa's face turns into the only thing that Florence could describe as pure hope. "You want to?" Flo can barely hear Isa. It's rare that she ever acts like a child, depend on someone else's words but right now at this moment, Florence could feel just how much Isa as clinging to her next sentence. <br/>"I've always wanted to," Both of them wait for Flo to end the sentence. "But I've always been scared for us. I just don't want something so good to get messed up. So we're gonna go slowly." Florence drags out the last word giggling at Isa who's on her tippy toes to wrap her arms around Florence's neck. <br/>"Hmm, slowly got it," Isa affirms rubbing her nose against Florence's. <br/>Even though Florence has been awake for 17 hours she doesn't feel like it anymore. Florence uses her hight to lift her girlfriend off the ground aided by two short legs being wrapped around her waist. "Come on child you need to sleep off this alcohol." <br/>"Noooooooo," Isa drunkenly echos going from worried to suddenly drunk then to childish. <br/>"Oh yes definitely." Florence lays Isa on the bed and goes to find her a shirt to wear. "Come on take that off, put this on and then we can sleep." <br/>"I don't wanna sleepppppp," If Florence wasn't so happy about the change in their relationship she would have scowled and refused to put up with such shenanigans while she's so tired. <br/>"Well, I'm going to sleep now," Isa starts pouting. "If you want to come to bed with me then you can. But I'm going to sleep." <br/>Eventually, Isa settles in silence while Florence plays with her hair. "Hey you know I love you right Flo?" Isa says into the darkness after awhile.<br/>"I know, I love you too," Florence whispers back her voice heavy with sleep. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I cannot tell you how much I hate this chapter but I'm already writing another Florabella fic. I want to actually finish this work because overall I feel like this is the best thing I've written. Thank you all for continuing to read this, there is one chapter left, big love x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Isa and Florence settle at home and enjoy the time that neither of them are working together.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"I never thought I would see the day Florence Welch, would be dressed in </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> jumper, making me jam." Isa nuzzles her head into Florence's shoulder wrapping her arms around her from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not making jam for you missy." Florence rests her hands over Isa's. "I'm making it for Bonnie. She needs it for her porridge." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Isa laughs at her girlfriend's kindness for Bonnie who has recently discovered porridge. For the last two weeks, Florence and Isa haven't managed the whole 'taking it slow' that they'd promised each other. Isa has practically moved in with Florence and neither of them has done anything without the other. Half of Florence feels like she's 18 again spending all hours of the day in a mess with Isa but then the other part feels like she's finally moved into a sustainable life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We should tell your Mum it's official, have dinner with her too. Do you think you could get us invited over?" Isa laughs moving away from Florence to sit by the cooker and watch her continue to work. Florence shoots her a raised eyebrow and a questioning smile. "What? I miss her cooking!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence can't help but laugh letting her spoon slip into the pan. "I will try and get us invited over for dinner then." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence sends Isa to go get dressed, Grace is always over at Mum's on a Sunday surely no one will mind two more mouths to feed. Even though all Eveyln has ever wanted for her eldest daughter is happiness, Florence knows that she might not be as happy as Florence is with her latest relationship. Over the years Isa has become like a daughter to Eveyln, with Isa's parents still three hours away Eveyln has felt like she's taken her in making sure she's safe. When Florence first introduced a short, blonde, heavily make uped girl round for breakfast her mother wasn't too impressed. But now her Mum views them as siblings. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Good morning Florence," Evelyn has always been curt in the mornings but by such a cold greeting Florence knows she hasn't got away with the mess that was last night. She had promised her Mum that she wouldn't be drinking for the next few months and at seventeen that shouldn't have been too hard. That was before text had come through from a school friend she had at 13, they were around and the pubs were open. Why would she not be drinking after a strenuous week at college? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now it's ten am on a Sunday morning and there was definitely a lot of drinking. Someone at one of the parties that have occurred since Friday knew the person that she's brought home for breakfast. By the end of Friday night, she had ended up sitting in a strangers garden realising her boyfriend had gone and she had to now try and beat away the worst of the hangover she knew was coming. After a long walk and nowhere else to go she'd spent the night with Isa, who hadn't been drinking at all. Turns out, even though Isa is at least five maybe six years older, they have a lot in common and so far she's been some of the best company she had met due South London parties. Normally they'd be boys that were either very boring, even if they could play the guitar, or they'd just break her heart. Isa though seemed like someone who cared about what she did and even with her hard exterior also seemed to care. After turning up at Isa's a complete mess the least she could do was make her breakfast. Isa didn't even have any bread at her studio/apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mum this is Isa, Isa this is Mum." Florence turns around, still stood in the porch, to wave her hands at Isa and then to her Mum. "Is it fine if Isa stays for breakfast? I think we have better options than cereal." Florence giggles making Isa smile, she indeed did only have a box of cereal back at her apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course she can. The older ones have gone to get coffee on the way to the park with everyone else so you have the house to yourself; I have work." Florence knows her Mum. She knows the tone her mum is using means she is supposed to be on the morning outing with the rest of her siblings. "We can talk later Florence but I'm glad to see you safe." Her Mum finishes taking her toast into her office. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence leads Isa to the kitchen while rolling her eyes at her Mum. "She cares about you though Flo," Isa whispers missing the security of going home when she was a teenager. Her Mum was never happy with her activities but she had sympathy and many cups of tea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know I know but she makes me feel like a disappointment. To be honest for Miss PHD over there I probably am. I don't really wanna go to uni. Anyway, whatever. Wanna come over here and pick breakfast?" Lucky for the six children that now live here, due to her Mum's academic success and career they live in a large, detached home in the suburbs of South London. Only the two youngest brothers have to share a room meaning that everyone else has their own space to escape the buzz. Even though Florence misses her father around (he's one of the few people who has always understood Florence's chaos) she still wouldn't change the situation with her step-siblings that the Welch's had soon bonded with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Breakfast sounds great," Isa smiles and goes to help. Somehow she was becoming rather accustomed to this stranger teenager who was definitely too young to be doing any of the things Isa had discovered about her in the last 24 hours. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Florence lets Isa take the lead round to her Mum's, with nothing to carry but flowers they're walking and trying not to complain about the clouds that are making the summer grey. Evelyn is quick to greet them both with hugs and smiles as Isa hands her the bunch of flowers that they'd picked out at the corner shop not far off. Grace and Bonnie seem to be missing at the moment but it Florence takes it as the best opportunity to break the news to her Mum. For years there had been so much to hide from her mother, not necessarily because she didn't trust her but more because of how she couldn't bear to burden her. After many truths came out after she wrote High as Hope her Mum was pretty heartbroken. Florence was not surprised, she'd seen her react in the same way when she used to find out some of the painful events of nights out. After she'd seen how much she was stressing her Mum out she stopped telling her anything that would hurt her. She's left a lot of what she was feeling out of her mother's life since she was 18. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mum," </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Florence? That tone isn't one of confidence," Her Mum nervously chuckles putting what must be a pasta bake in the oven. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought I should tell you I have a girlfriend, you know so you can tell all you're friends at history society that all your kids are settled." Florence doesn't know any way to break big news other than joke about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eveyln's face changes from confused straight to a smile as she looks to Isa with her eyebrow raised. Florence hopes her Mum has caught straight on and she won't have to spell it out word for word. "Do you approve of this girl Isa?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Erm well yeah, I think she'll be good for Flo," All the two can do is laugh at the situation they'd got themselves into. Ten years ago this would have seemed like a fucked up dream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you laughing? Wait," Evelyn waves her ladle between the two of them. "So all those nights together caught up with you both?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ugh, Mum thank you." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, they must have done." Isa takes control of the situation laughing at Evelyns knowledge of how close they were on tour. If Isa remembers correctly she'd given Evelyn her room one tour when they'd been one short and she'd gone in and slept with Florence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not too weird is it Mum?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, no it's not. It's nice to see both of you calm down. I've missed you recently Isa." Smiles are still around by the time Grace walks in immediately spotting Florence squeezing Isa's hand under the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hand-holding? Somewhere other than a tour bus? Wow, you two are really moving on! Congrats guys." Grace doesn't miss a beat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the dinner is spent in comfortable understanding. After the past three years of processing feelings, relationships, mental health, touring and trying to be an adult Florence feels like this might be it. This might be life. No more overthinking and double-checking everything. Doing a couple of years of album work and performance and then spending a year or two of being safe at home, hiding away from the public and nothing else. Visiting family at the weekends and helping friends on their projects through the week. Maybe this is it, and this is being happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Idle chatter fills the room with subjects from Bonnie starting school in only a couple of months, Isa discovering the joys of Shakespear and Grace feeling like there is finally less stress now reports have now been written. No one is troubled until Bonnie starts to stare long and hard at her two Auntie's. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You okay there Bonnie?" Isa asks pouring herself more water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bonnie looks at Florence. "So," Flo can't help but giggle. "NO! Don't laugh!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry I'm sorry Bonnie. Please tell us why you're staring at Aunite Isa." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well no. It's you, Aunite Flo, because you said to me that Aunite Isa wasn't dating with you. Now you're holding hands and Mummy said that you're sleeping together. I'm confused." Bonnie puts another forkful of food in her mouth and continues to look around the table at shocked faces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Florence lowers her voice and moves closer to her sister while pretending to reach for sauce across the table. "You told your child that I'm </span>
  <em>
    <span>sleeping </span>
  </em>
  <span>with Isa?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not like that! She just thinks that you share a bed. She's three years old Florence!" Grace hisses back in disbelief for her sister. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So," Isa does her interpretation of Bonnie looking her right in the eye quickly turning serious when the little girl glares at her. "Aunite Flo and I didn't know if we wanted to be in a relationship for a long time." Isa watches Bonnie nod and hmm. "But then we made our minds up and decided that we wanted to be together, like all the time." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bonnie smiles and nods now understanding the far too complicated situation her Auntie's had got themselves into. Florence can feel her heart swell as she watches her niece interact with her girlfriend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A fairytale ending!" Evelyn mutters sarcastically getting up from the table and starting to clear plates. No one takes any notice, they all know she's happy for them but is very bad at voicing these opinions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once dinner is settled and everyone is just starting to rest for the first time today Evelyn pulls them all back up for the mandatory after-dinner walk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>=</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Isa watches Florence stretch out over the sofa letting her arms and legs fall way over the edges. It's at moments like these that Isa realises how beautiful her girlfriend is and just how tall she is. She ticks all the boxes Isa knows are needed to be a model. Long legs, tick. Sculptured face, tick. Long quickly styled hair, tick. A love and willingness for all fashion, tick. Lucky for them both there was never any desire for Florence to become a model. Both had them had fallen into music because there was nothing else they wanted to do. They'd both been trying to find something to fill a space in their lives although at some points Isa is pretty sure music had made them both more lost than when they started. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come here please," Florence seems to have moved her limbs out of the way so there is space for Isa to sit with her. Isa moves into her arms and wraps a blanket around them both. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wanna watch something extremely trashy?" Isa whispers moving her body to fit in with Florence's so she doesn't fall off the sofa. She puts the TV in low and swings her foot to kick the light switch for the lamp. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you ever wish that we never made it?" Florence asks quietly starting to play with Isa's hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? Why are you asking? Is it bothering you?" Isa responds looking up at Florence expecting to find a stressed face when she ends up finding the opposite. Flo doesn't seem to be worried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, no it's not." A smile appears. "I don't know. I'm just wondering what it would be like to be completely normal. Touring takes years of your life and sinks them into a void of unrecognisable backstages and hotel rooms. It's amazing even through the tiredness. I love it and always have. But it's not normal, is it? We have so much fun all the time but normally it wouldn't be like that. It wouldn't all be so good." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Isa looks at Florence's face pondering what to say next. She sighs collecting her thoughts. "Florence Welch," She sighs again. "Whatever you were going to end up doing I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been the dead straight, normal career path. I don't think there's any use in us thinking about how it could have been. Really, it could have been us penniless in digs someone where random. It could have easily ended up with us in jobs that we hated and bills that we couldn't pay. But we got lucky and it didn't. As much as both of us complain we both get to do what we love. There isn't much else we could ask for." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, you're right. I've never wanted anything else but, yeah I'm just rambling." Isa hears the laugh that she's been used to having close to her for over ten years now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"As per usual you're right." Florence laughs and lays her head back down on the sofa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's not long before Isa feels Florence's hand in her hair stop moving and her arms relax. For the first time in months, Isa is sure that Florence has been getting enough sleep, but as per usual with every new good habit, there is some rebound that forms. Both of them have been falling asleep in front of the TV at a different point in the evening. One day of the week it'll be Florence carrying Isa and then next it'll be. Isa uses her free arm to reach over to the open pages of Florence's notebook. From what she can see there are at least five different song names already scribbled down. Out of respect, Isa doesn't dig any deeper to find lyrics. Whatever the next album brings for them both at least now Isa knows that it'll be the both of them. No miles, metaphorically or physically, between them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So this is the end of this work! This is the first thing that I've really finished even though I've written a lot of other things, a success at last lol. Thank you to everyone who has commented / messaged me about this story it's really given me something to do while being inside. I've already started another fic that's a AU. I'll post that soon. &lt;33</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>